


Kalopsia

by TheBeautifulLove



Category: K-pop, SEVENTEEN (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Canon Compliant, Drama & Romance, Established Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V, Falling In Love, Friendship, M/M, Self-Discovery, Unrequited Love, other tags might be added later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:49:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 25,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24552664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBeautifulLove/pseuds/TheBeautifulLove
Summary: "The dance leader finally looks up at his hyung. ‘I think he just wants to be loved by somebody you know.’ Yoongi meets his eyes and finds earnestness in them. ‘Like... not the way he's loved by us or his parents or our fans,’ He waves the chopsticks in his hand vaguely. ‘I mean like... like what Kookie and Tae have.’"
Relationships: Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V, Mentioned Jimin/Vernon, Min Yoongi | Suga/Park Jimin
Comments: 13
Kudos: 87





	1. Part 1.

**Author's Note:**

> Helloooo!  
> I'm back with a BTS fanfic (I haven't wrote for this fandom in ages but I'm super excited). If you guys follow my instagram (thebeautifullove_ao3) then you would have seen the teaser there.  
> Anyway, as always, I have no idea how long this work will be. Somehow, I don't think it will be particularly long. I tried to really make this work good and improve my writing skills but I will let you be the judge as always! Also, this was heavily inspired by a video on YouTube called 'Idols being whipped for Vernon from Seventeen' - I suggest you watch it first, there is a long segment about Jimin being one of those whipped individuals XD  
> Enjoy and let me know what you think of this! :)

[ ** Kalopsia:  ** (n) the delusion of things being more beautiful than they really are."]

** Jimin **

The thing about Park Jimin is that he loves beautiful things. 

He loves beautiful views that cannot be captured by the finest of cameras. He loves beautiful clothes and accessories that fit just right, bringing out all his most hidden charms. 

But most of all, he loves beautiful people. 

He loves eyes that sparkle with mischief and defiance, laughs that fill the whole space with their unique tune, visuals that draw the eye and awaken imagination. 

‘Seventeen is always so in synch. How do they manage that with thirteen people on stage at once?’  Hoseok whisper-shouts in Jimin’s ear but the younger is barely able to catch it with all the noise around them. 

‘I know, right?’ He offers without even sparing his  hyung a single glance. His eyes stay fixed on the stage. It should be Vernon’s part any time now; he wouldn’t miss it for the world. 

Soon enough, the rapper appears, nailing his part while performing the impossibly difficult choreography. His slight American accent brings a smooth undertone to his fast, melodic rap. It’s his attribute and it’s a thing of beauty in Jimin’s eyes.

‘He’s so good!’ The blonde gushes with enthusiasm. ‘Vernon! Wow.’ He was never one to admire in silence. If he likes something, he will let it be known. 

The laughter from the boy sitting next to him has Jimin finally glancing to his right side briefly. 

‘There are twelve other guys out there.’ The white flashing lights from the stage reflect in Hoseok’s chocolate eyes as he takes a haste moment to scrutinise the younger. ‘Are you in love with him or something?’ 

The blonde boy purposely doesn’t answer. He goes back to staring at the stage stubbornly until the very end, eyes trained on one particular member of the group. He isn’t really sure when it got to this point, if he’s being completely honest with himself.

He guesses, he’s always thought Vernon was a great rapper, great dancer and an incredibly handsome boy. When he began to watch Seventeen’s performances in his free time, solely to admire their incredibly complex choreographies, he never expected to end up spending the whole night watching fancams. But there he was, at five in the morning, still in his clothes from last night, eyes red and itchy but stubbornly staring at the screen. 

It was only when Vernon’s handsome face and body started to become one big blur and it didn’t help, no matter how many times he tried to blink to moisturise his poor dry corneas, that he decided to switch off his phone and get some much-needed sleep. 

Unsurprisingly, he dreamt of pretty hazel eyes looking at him from under long lashes and a deep voice calling his name. Thinking back, maybe that was the first major warning sign he shouldn’t have had ignored.

‘I wish there was some way we could talk more.’ Jimin sighs, now in the car driving half of the team back to their house. ‘I’m tired of just waving and bowing down to each other in passing.’ 

After a short pause,  Jin lays his eyes on Jimin and frowns in confusion. ‘What are you talking about?’ 

The dancer exhales loudly. ‘Vernon.’ He replies with some force, like he can’t quite believe they wouldn’t know. ‘I want to get to know him more.’ His tone carries a hint of sadness and dejection.

‘More?’  Hoseok raises his voice. ‘You two haven’t even exchanged a single sentence.’ 

‘That’s what I mean!’ Jimin whines but quickly  turns back to his phone, fingers moving swiftly over the screen. 

Silence falls between them but not for long. ‘Can I ask something?’ Namjoon begins softly, looking at his dongsaeng with curiosity. Jimin gives the older boy his attention before nodding once in agreement. ‘When did you become so into that guy? And why? It’s not like Seventeen exists since last week.’ 

Jimin knows that very well but he doesn’t know the answer himself. Honestly, it could have happened anytime, anywhere, and anyhow, right? Is it really any different from their own fans? Many of them are aware of K-pop; are aware of BTS’s  existence too but it’s not until a certain time, place or incident that pushes them into exploring the group further. Before they know it, they’re devoted fans. Whether it be the whole band or specifically one particular member. 

‘Am I not allowed to become a fan too, hyung?’ He asks in a low, patient voice. ‘Perhaps I’ve only just now noticed and began to appreciate his talent, is that a crime?’ 

Namjoon presses his lips into a thin line and watches the younger boy for a few seconds more before leaning back, sinking deeper into the seat of the car. ‘Of course, not.’ He smiles lightly but his eyes hide some words that has been left unsaid behind them. ‘If it’s genuine, there is nothing at all wrong with it.’ 

Jimin folds his arms on top of his chest, narrowing his eyes slightly. ‘Sure, it’s genuine, why wouldn’t it be? He’s handsome and talented and I wish to  befriend him. I think that’s quite normal, don’t you?’ 

The leader barely holds himself back from rolling his eyes. ‘You don’t need to get defensive with me, Jimin.’ He replies calmly instead, aware of the curious, scrutinising eyes of the other two members on them. ‘I agree with you. In fact, I understand you very well. I think that no matter how much we treasure each other, we all would like to have some friendships with people other than ourselves. We have needs and desires to acquire the types of relationships that can only really be found outside the group.’ Once again, the leader’s wisdom that’s seemingly beyond his age, awes the audience. ‘Excluding the obvious exception.’ He adds, ending the unexpectantly deep speech. Everyone seems to approve of his words, knowing exactly what, or rather who he’s referring to. 

Jimin nods slowly, unable to dispute that, then shifts his tired gaze to look out the window instead, drowning in thoughts. 

The atmosphere in the car changes. The remnants of bliss and  tranquillity that had settled upon them due to what happened at the awards’ show earlier turn into strange but not uncomfortable pensiveness and melancholy. All four boys begin to think about their own concerns, hopes and wishes quietly, while the sun begins to raise in the sky, outside the car’s tinted windows.

***

‘God, I’m exhausted.’  Yoongi complains as soon as they enter the house. ‘ Jungguk and Taehyung wouldn’t stop bickering all the way home. Someone, remind me not to ride in a car with them two ever again.’ He takes off the expensive suit jacket and throws it carelessly on the sofa in the living room. 

Hoseok pats him on the shoulder hastily. ‘Go to bed right away,  hyung .’ 

Everyone begins to part ways, treading tiredly in the directions of their own rooms. 

He’s aware of the way Namjoon looks at him. It’s the same stare from the car ride but twice as intense. ‘Don’t stay up too late, guys.’ Only at the last word he turns to direct his words at everyone, not just Jimin. 

Or rather he tries to make it seem so. The dancer wonders what the leader is really trying to say; he’s sure there is something. Something pushing at the tip of the taller boy’s tongue but he stubbornly keeps it to himself. 

‘Heard that?’ Taehyung sends  Jungguk a pointed look. The other just laughs happily and plants a loud kiss on the older boy’s mouth. 

‘Guys, I thought I gave a thirty minutes talk about the PDA last time.’ The leader scolds but already a small smile begins to show at the corners of his plush lips, watching the two like a proud father. 

Jin waves his hand dismissively. ‘Let them off for tonight, Namjoon-ah. We won like... almost all the awards we could win.’ The two are already giggling between each other, contentedly. The eldest’s distinctive laughter echoes in the living room. ‘Let them be happy.’ He black-haired boy puts an arm around the taller man.

‘Just not  _ too _ happy.’  Hoseok puts emphasis on the third word, pointing a threatening finger at the  maknaes . ‘I would like to get some quality, beauty sleep tonight.’ 

‘Way too late for that.’ Yoongi murmurs on his way to his room. 

Unfortunately, the dance leader has heard him. ‘Who are you calling ugly, huh?’ His hometown accent colours his speech but there is no venom in his tone. ‘Have you looked in the mirror?’ He calls after the disappearing figure of the composer.

‘Goodnight,  hyungs .’ Jimin offers  politely with a small social smile, also turning to go his own way. They return the wishes shortly. 

It leaves the dancer on his own, walking the long empty corridor to his bedroom, feeling strangely nostalgic. It might be just exhaustion or happiness at having won so many awards or most likely – all of these things combined. 

Or perhaps something yet entirely different. 

He wants to go to sleep straight away, he really does but the intention changes as soon as his eyes land on his grey laptop in the top corner of his bed. He already knows, changing into his pyjamas hurriedly not to waste valuable time, then switches the device on. While it takes its sweet time to come back to life, Jimin wipes his make-up off carefully. 

It’s a bad idea; his eyes are already itchy and his vision is blurry and it’s very late. However, certain things are inevitable when you develop a new fixation, and when to make things worse, you’re Park Jimin. 

When the early morning light greets him, he’s made his way through probably half of all the Vernon  fancams that exist on the internet. He squints at the bright screen, momentarily wondering how exactly did he end up here? The paused image on the computer’s display is beautiful.  Chwe Vernon is stunning - the concentration of his face, the dark- green microphone held close to his lips, dressed all in black, emphasising his pale complexion. 

Is Jimin falling in love? No. Of course, not.

He’s on the verge of obsession, at best, just balancing on the edge, refusing to look down. Or maybe it’s a step in the direction of finding himself. A stop on the road to self-discovery. He doesn’t know. At this early hour of the day he can’t really be sure of anything. 

He falls asleep feeling almost guilty somehow, feeling like what he’s doing is bad, destructive. Remembering the conversation with Namjoon before, he realises that it’s quickly becoming more than just appreciating the Seventeen’s member’s talents and good looks. He’s getting dragged into a deep hole, pulled in by desires and yearnings that he, himself doesn’t even understand. 

Maybe he’s losing himself in it more than whatever self-discovery it is worth. Right now, all he knows is that he’s searching for something that he hasn’t been able to find until now.

Something deep; a tiny voice within him that keeps whispering but it’s too low for him to hear, or too difficult to understand but at the same time too persistent to ignore. 

** Yoongi **

It’s hard being around people who are happily in love. 

Not that he minds the occasional displays of affection from  Jungguk to Taehyung or the other way around, in fact it was him who first pushed the two towards each other when he began to notice what was going on, however the aura around them is loud and fervent, clashing at times with Yoongi’s rather calm and composed energy. 

He’s honestly happy for them. Deep inside, he even thinks their relationship has brought some type of  bizarre sense of completion onto the group. Something like magnets; these two always has had that shaky, nervous atmosphere between them when they were close,  Yoongi thinks. 

Only when they got together, just like magnets, when allowed to fully connect, only then they finally truly stilled. In the most positive way; in a way that has stopped the barely there, yet still very present, buzzing electricity in the air and brought peace onto themselves, which has then transferred onto the whole group. 

Curiously, t hey decidedly fully blossomed as individuals only after they united. Together, they found their true colours and shapes, that they struggled to find on their own. 

Observing their relationship grow and develop was the push opening  Yoongi to the concept of love. It changed his perspective from the artificial view of the feeling he has first adopted as an artist in order to inspire his music, having had no genuine experience of it himself, to something much more authentic. Watching the  maknaes has breathed a new life into the over-done structure he’s been used to. He thinks that only after they became a couple, has he truly  begun to write about love; started to approach it from a completely different, previously unknown regard. 

The only way in which it’s sometimes hard to be around them has nothing, ironically, to do with the two boys but with  Yoongi himself and his own feelings. Unintentionally, the couple has made him more attentive to his emotions, made him curious. Curious about love. 

‘You okay there, hyung?’ The maknae asks in passing, opening the fridge to get some orange juice. 

Yoongi looks down into the bowl of cereal in front of him. ‘Yeah, not too bad, still tired from yesterday.’ He finds the vague answer floating in between the Oreo hoops. 

‘Me too. Didn’t get much sleep.’ The brown-haired boy sits opposite  Yoongi , grunting as soon as his bottom touches the  chair . The older laughs inwardly but doesn’t comment. ‘Woah, everything hurts.’ 

This time the older boy can’t help but cackle out loud. ‘You guys have some serious stamina.’ He stuffs his mouth with the sweet breakfast to avoid the younger’s shocked and disbelieving expression. 

‘Hyung.’ He finally closes his mouth and presses his lips into a thin line, disapproving look on his face. ‘You’re just dirty minded, you know. We actually didn’t...’ He doesn’t get to finish as two more figures enter the kitchen. 

Yoongi is still giggling a little and it draws Jimin’s and Namjoon’s attention. ‘What’s so funny?’ The leader enquires energetically, reaching into a cupboard to get his favourite yellow mug. 

‘Nothing much, we’re just discussing  Jungguk’s and Taehyung’s impressive stamina, you know.’  Yoongi replies with a straight face. 

Jimin laughs out loud, pearly laughter filling the whole room and Namjoon nearly drops the mug in his hands, nodding awkwardly. ‘Oh.’ The tallest man utters. 

The dancer standing beside him laughs even louder, nearly falling to the floor. ‘Hyung...’ he gets out in between laughs. ‘Your face...’ He’s still chuckling and wiping real tears from his eyes. 

Yoongi smiles lightly at Jimin’s reaction then brings his attention back to his bowl, which suddenly seems so interesting. He stirs the remaining cereal around slowly, watching how the colour of the milk changes the longer he stirs. 

‘No! It’s not...’  Jungguk sighs deeply, closing his eyes, shoulders dropping visibly. ‘We went to sleep right away last night, I promise.  Yoongi-hyung is joking.’ He defends himself before taking a large bite into the apple he was holding ever since he sat down at the breakfast table. 

‘We don’t need to know the details of your relationship,  Ggukie , no matter whether they’re spicy or not.’ Jimin adds reasonably but the corners of his lips are still raised in amusement. 

‘Right.’ The leader agrees before turning around to make himself a coffee, which was probably the only  reason he came to the kitchen in the first place. His cheeks are still a bit pink as he clumsily begins to press random buttons on the coffee machine. ‘Hope you guys had a good rest, we have some short schedule this evening.’ 

Yoongi is aware of Jimin sitting down next to him at the table, placing a tall glass of water on top of it and leaning over to look into the elder’s bowl curiously. 

‘Taehyung slept like a baby but I was suffering for hours, the adrenaline from the performance and all the emotions... My mind was all over the place.’ He admits, running his hand through his messy hair.

Meanwhile, the blonde dancer steals  Yoongi’s spoon from his hand and tries some of the food without asking for permission. ‘Yummy. I’ll make myself some.’ He gets up after returning the spoon to the owner. The composer doesn’t get to say anything but it’s not like he knows what he could say anyway. It’s just something Jimin does often; something all of them gave up on reprimanding him for a long time ago. 

He stares after the boy that just a second ago was right beside him, wordlessly. He watches as Jimin stands on his tip toes to reach the box of Oreo hoops from the top shelf, the same way  Yoongi had to about a half an hour ago. 

‘Me too. My mind was racing like crazy.’ Namjoon leans against the counter, nursing his cup of fresh coffee, the dark bags under his eyes confirm the truth of his words. He sighs, releasing some of the heavy pressure from atop of his warm heart and strong shoulders. 

After a minute of silence,  Jungguk smiles lightly, more to himself than to any of them. ‘I curled up next to Tae and listening to his heart beat calmed me down, so I finally drifted off.’ He says softly, eyes focused on the glass of orange juice in front of him but mind seemingly miles away. 

Yoongi looks up at the younger and suddenly feels so old; essentially ancient. He reckons that the expression the boy in front of him wears at that moment could represent love itself. If the feeling could be captured in a single moment – so many memories hidden behind those dark eyes, pink lips lifted in pure delight of having had the opportunity to feel other’s lips on them every day and night. If this isn’t love he’s witnessing at precisely eleven o’clock in the morning, mid-July, then he isn’t sure of anything anymore. 

Or maybe he has finally matured. Fully grown mentally to understand and appreciate something so raw, genuine and beautiful. To take it with the seriousness it deserves in order to truly notice its dept.

It suddenly makes him feel a little cold and empty inside his own heart. It’s a feeling he’s familiar with. It comes and goes as it pleases, making him a slave under its control. 

‘Wow, this is delicious!’ Jimin exclaims, taking his  seat next to  Yoongi again, this time a bowl in front of him, mouth full of cereal and milk, eyes wide. ‘Who bought this?’

Yoongi glances at the boy beside him without a word. Looking at Jimin makes him feel the exact opposite that looking at Jungguk has. Looking at Jimin makes him feel young, child-like even; like he’s drawing from a fountain of eternal youth just by being in his presence.

‘ Jin-hyung bought it, I believe.’ Namjoon supplies helpfully, now occupied with his phone. 

Jimin hums in approval, eating enthusiastically, turning briefly to  Yoongi and smiling with his mouth still full. A tiny drop of milk dances at the centre of his full bottom lip, staying there, perfectly balanced, as if by some supernatural force. 

The rapper flashes a brief, barely there smile then tears his eyes away and returns them to his own food. It feels like a whole year has passed since he’s walked into this very kitchen, since he’s prepared the damn cereal. 

However, looking down now, it seems sad, the milk has turned dark brown and the hoops are all swollen and dissolving in the liquid. Regardless, he puts a small spoonful in his mouth but he finds it doesn’t taste as good as before. The boy glances at the younger one sitting on his right side again. 

As expected, things look better when Park Jimin does them. Foods seem tastier when Jimin eats them. Even spoons look more silver in Jimin’s delicate hands. 

Yoongi sighs at the wooden table. It’s nothing to do with Jimin at all, it’s him. It’s  Yoongi who simply watches the exact same scene everyone else is, through his healthily functioning eyes, but stupidly sees something entirely different. 

***

The studio is unusually quiet. 

He’s not playing any music, he’s not composing. Essentially, he’s not working, he’s just spending some alone time. He thought he might attempt to write a song but since he’s sat down, all he’s done is stare at the black screen of the switched off computer. 

From a distance it may seem like he’s deep in thought, analysing something incredibly important but he’s not even thinking about anything in particular. Just distracted, a bit thirsty too and very tired. 

Yoongi is about to give up and just return to the house and maybe have a nap before they have to start getting ready for the evening schedule when someone knocks on the door. 

‘Come in.’ 

A voice like the sun itself greets him. ‘Hi  hyung , what you’re up to?’  Hoseok flops down heavily on top of the couch to Yoongi’s right. 

‘Nothing.’ He sighs looking at his friend. ‘Came here to work but my mind is gone.’

The look on the younger’s face foreshadows a scolding coming  Yoongi’s way. ‘How many times have I told you to take some time off after an awards’ show?’ He asks with conviction. ‘The brain doesn’t work properly for a few days after so much exhaustion.’ He  frowns and shakes his hand next to his head for emphasis.

He nods but doesn’t reply, accepting the lecture, which he knows has the purpose of showing  Hoseok’s care for him and not to criticise his choices. 

Rubbing his eyes,  Yoongi points at the paper bag resting on the couch next to the dance leader. ‘What’s that?’ 

‘Oh, it’s some take out. We ordered food to eat together but then realised that you left, so I brought it to eat here with you, so you don’t feel excluded, hyung.’ He explains taking out various containers from the bag and listing off some dishes he brought. 

‘That’s nice of you Hob-ah.’ He replies softly, genuinely grateful, moving to sit on the couch alongside the other boy. 

‘Actually, I also kind of wanted to escape the house too, if I’m totally honest.’ The red-head suddenly confesses. Yoongi looks up at him quizzically, prompting Hoseok to elaborate. ‘Jimin wouldn’t stop talking about his new crush... or whatever it is.’ 

Yoongi’s hand, holding a pair of chopsticks, stalls for a single heartbeat in the air before he submerges it in a box of ttokbokki, picking up two pieces at a time. ‘Crush?’ 

The other boy nods and rolls his eyes  deliberately . ‘Seventeen’s Vernon.’ He speaks with his mouth half-full, then chews and swallows. ‘He suddenly got so interested in him few weeks ago but recently it’s becoming a bit too much. Even Namjoon is getting a tiny bit irritated.’ 

‘Huh.’  Yoongi huffs trying to sound natural, continuing to eat in peace. 

Hoseok doesn’t even glance at him, immersed in his meal and oblivious to the swarm of thoughts currently buzzing in the elder’s head. The thoughts are accompanied by a cluster of emotions that he doesn’t even want to begin to ponder. 

The dance leader finally looks up at his  hyung . ‘I think he just wants to be loved by somebody you know.’  Yoongi meets his eyes and finds earnestness in them. ‘Like... not the way he’s loved by us or his parents or our fans,’ He waves the chopsticks in his hand vaguely. ‘I mean like... like what Kookie and Tae have.’ 

He nods in agreement, looking down to the floor, eyes stuck on that one hole in the carpet that’s been there since forever. ‘To be loved and to love in return.’  Yoongi mumbles under his breath but in the silence that has fallen onto the room, it can be clearly heard. 

‘Exactly.’ 

The composer swallows the last bite of food in his mouth, puts away the chopsticks and wraps his arms around himself, suddenly feeling quite cold. ‘I think that, to a degree, all of us know exactly how he feels.’ Leaning back and sinking deeper into the leather couch, he glances at Hoseok.

The younger merely nods, staying silent but the emotions behind his eyes scream loud enough on their own. 


	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess this isn't something you're very interested   
> in reading guys, judging by the hits, kudos and comments   
> (or the lack of lol) but I really enjoy writing this and it's  
> the first time I'm writing Yoonmin so I'm having lots of fun.   
> Those that are enjoying, thank you and here is the second chapter! :)

** Yoongi **

‘If you want it that bad, ask the managers to try to arrange something. Some collaboration or just a video with you two together.’  Jin speaks up after glancing at Jimin’s phone when the younger wouldn’t put it down even at meal time. ‘It would be beneficial for both groups actually.’ He tries to be reasonable but the hints of irritation are breaking through his calm demeanour every now and then. 

The younger finally has enough sense to put the phone down and go back to eating. ‘I’ll try, I guess.’ He doesn’t seem positive about it. ‘Might be a bit weird of a request to ask for one, specific member though.’ 

Yoongi hasn’t yet said anything but he’s very aware of Namjoon basically drilling holes in his head with his eyes. It makes him slightly uncomfortable but he still stubbornly doesn’t look up. 

‘It is weird.’ Taehyung agrees, picking up a piece of kimchi and almost dropping it half-way through its journey from the plate to his mouth. ‘Your whole recent behaviour is weird and begins to get annoying too.’ 

It’s quiet at the table while the blonde dancer throws daggers at the younger with his eyes. He leans closer across the table to direct his whole attention to Taehyung and everyone, except Yoongi, watches the scene feeling the obvious tension building in the air while the brown-haired boy continues to eat calmly. 

Jungguk moves a bit closer to his boyfriend, perhaps unconsciously, eyes remaining on Jimin, barely blinking. 

‘You have something else to say, Taehyung-ah?’ It’s spoken in a low but deliberate and challenging tone. 

Something twists unpleasantly in  Yoongi’s stomach at that. It’s not common that the dancer uses this tone and so, this finally makes the rapper glance up from his plate to the two. 

Only at that question, does Taehyung look up and his eyes widen a bit in surprise at the sudden attack but he just swallows the food he has in his mouth slowly. ‘I’m only saying what everyone else is thinking.’ He retaliates.

When both fire and tears begin to shine in Jimin’s eyes and his hands close into tight fists, someone finally reacts. 

‘Guys, please.’ Namjoon raises his voice and  Hoseok who is sitting next to the blonde, places a hand on his shoulder, seemingly both in sympathy and to hold him back, just in case. ‘Let’s respect each other’s interests and try to have a pleasant conversation here.’ He tries, from all the way at the other end of the table but it seems his words are coming from too far away to reach the two boys who keep having a staring contest of sorts between each other. He sighs and tries again, stronger. ‘Can we not have a nice, peaceful dinner and enjoy this food right now?’ 

Jimin slowly leans back to his original position, trying to keep his tears from spilling. He glances briefly at Namjoon and then at the rest of the group. ‘Sorry, everyone, I guess I lost my appetite.’ His voice is weak and he sounds a bit choked up. 

Yoongi watches the boy get up from the floor where he was sitting on a red cushion and turn to walk in the direction of his own room. The sensation in his stomach is back with double strength. It feels like a hand is reaching inside and pulling out his organs, one by one. 

Namjoon begins to move. ‘I’ll talk to him.’ 

Before he manages to get up,  Jin places a hand on his shoulder, stopping him. ‘I’ll go. I’m already full, I’ve had a lot of snacks before we ordered.’ He explains calmly. ‘You’re hungry, Namjoon-ah, stay.’ The eldest gets up and follows the same way Jimin just went. 

The atmosphere at the table becomes even more awkward after the two are gone. 

‘I’m sorry.’ Taehyung whispers. ‘I didn’t mean to sound that harsh, I just wanted to make him realise it’s annoying if he only ever talks about one thing.’ 

For the first time,  Yoongi speaks. ‘You should apologize to Jimin, not us.’ Intentionally or not, his voice sounds cold and stern.

Namjoon looks at the older rapper and their eyes finally meet for a long meaningful gaze. ‘They’re both at fault, really. What Taehyung said isn’t untrue however, he should have phrased it in a better way.’ The leader states and everyone agrees. ‘I’m sure  Jin-hyung will explain everything to Jimin and then you two can make up.’ He directs the last part to the vocalist. 

His  hyung is right,  Yoongi knows. He realises that what he just said didn’t come from his rational mind but from his heart. Of course, they both should apologize to each other but all the rapper could think to begin with was Jimin’s hurt feelings. 

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, closing his eyes. Maybe he should start accepting the fact that the blonde dancer holds a slightly different position in his heart than everyone else. 

But God, if it isn’t a completely terrifying thought. 

***

He’s alone in his room after helping  Hoseok with cleaning the dishes after dinner. He’s listening to some music and it’s not the usual hip-hop and rap he likes to listen to but it doesn’t really surprise him. 

The songs he keeps clicking on are slow and sombre, fitting his strange blue mood.  Jin was still in Jimin’s room by the time the two rappers finished cleaning everything perfectly. He can’t help but wonder what they could be talking about. He imagines the younger dancer with tears streaming down his pretty cheeks and he feels a burning sensation in his chest that he hates. 

Why is it happing now? He first began developing these weird feelings for Jimin almost three years ago but why did it begin to feel this intense only in the last few months? What happened? Was it him or something outside of his control? 

He’s always imagined his feelings for Jimin as a single flower that adds to the bouquet that makes Min Yoongi. A single white rose along with all the other flowers in the hands of fate. It was just there, existing; he was aware of it but it didn’t usually occupy too many of his thoughts. He was always able to ignore it, tolerate it or at worst, control it. 

However, since that time  Hoseok told him of Jimin’s crush on Vernon, it intensified suddenly, it brought out some deep-supressed emotions in him that he doesn’t at all need. 

His phone rings and the leader’s name  appear on the screen. ‘What’s up Namjoon-ah?’ 

‘Hyung I’m at my studio right now, could use some of your help with the beat to this one song, it begins to drive me crazy.’ He sounds distressed on the other side. 

‘Umm, sure. Just give me fifteen minutes to change. I’m literally wearing my pyjamas right now.’ He replies and before he  hangs up, he hears a low laugh. 

The kitchen and living room are empty and quiet when he leaves, following the direction of Namjoon’s studio. The weather is hot in a way that is bothersome and suffocating. Sweat drops begin to form on his forehead even after such a short walk.

He punches in the code, hoping the leader haven’t changed it yet. After a short beep, the door opens and reveals the other’s spacious, dim studio. 

‘Hyung.’ The younger acknowledges his presence, turning in his office chair to face  Yoongi . He points to the white foldable chair in the corner that they’ve used many times before while working on music together, motioning for him to sit. 

The younger boy does as he’s told quickly then focuses all his attention on the screen. ‘So, what’s wrong with the beat? I thought you said you found the right one and won’t change it again...’ 

Awkwardly, Namjoon turns back to look at the same place. ‘Right.’ He murmurs and proceeds to look for something. After a few clicks, a familiar beat plays, making  Yoongi scrunch his brows in confusion. It sounds exactly the same as it did when he heard it last time. ‘I just think that here,’ He suddenly stops then replays one particular part again and again. ‘...it could sound stronger since this is the beginning of the first bridge.’ The taller boy stutters and he’s biting his lip nervously. 

Yoongi shifts his attention from the screen to the leader, beginning to understand what’s going on. ‘Namjoon-ah, what is the real reason I’m here?’ He asks patiently, folding his arms on top of his chest. 

The other looks at him with slightly widened eyes at first but then exhales, killing the beat playing in the background, drowning the room in silence. ‘Fine.’ He gives up his false pretences. ‘I just wanted to ask... how do you feel about the whole situation with Jimin and his... um... crush?’

He really should have seen it coming. 

‘I don’t feel anything in particular.’ He answers mostly honestly, trying to keep his gaze locked with the younger. Perhaps he shouldn’t have told Namjoon about it. He’s a great listener and offers good advice but he equally won’t leave things alone when he thinks something’s not right going on. 

Namjoon bites his bottom lip in thought. ‘Hyung, I don’t want to make you feel bad or anything but if you ever feel alone in your emotions, I’m here for you. When you’re upset.’ 

‘Upset?’ He questions him back. ‘About what Namjoon? What do I have to be upset about? Because Jimin wants to be happy? Because he wants to have someone special in his life to share it with?’ He fires those rhetorical questions and observes how the other begins to struggle to keep his composure. 

‘No, of course not. I just...’ He rubs at his temples looking down for a few seconds. ‘I just thought it might be hard for you since you feel something for Jimin. I thought you would like to talk to someone, that’s all.’ He raises his hands in defence before slapping them down loudly to rest on his thighs again. 

Yoongi exhales slowly. ‘I told you that none of those silly feelings I might have for him matter because he doesn’t reciprocate any of them and that’s okay. It’s my secret to live with, for me to move on despite it and support him, being the hyung, bandmate and friend I’ve always been for him.’ He’s come to accept it. It’s just what it is. 

Namjoon looks at him patiently nodding but after a long moment his lips open suddenly as if to say something then they close again just as quickly. 

‘Say it.’  Yoongi prompts. 

The younger gives him a long, calculating look. ‘But what if he returns your feelings?’ He dares to suggest and watches the anger build slowly behind the older rapper’s eyes. 

‘He doesn’t.’ The composer answers coldly and begins to explain, hoping it’s the last time he has to do so. ‘I’ve had these feelings for so long and if he had any similar ones towards me, I would know, trust me.’ 

‘But he doesn’t notice yours since you hide them so well, so maybe the same way, you don’t notice his?’

‘Let me tell you something Namjoon-ah.’ He leans in closer again, making direct eye-contact. ’You see, if two people feel the same thing for each other, they will get together at some point, there will be too many of those moments when it’s too close, when it’s so obvious, until one of the two gathers enough courage to do something. That’s not us. Jimin doesn’t notice because he doesn’t pay attention to me the way I do to him. That itself tells me everything I need to know.’ He tries using his most convincing voice, hoping this is enough to send the message. ‘Right now, he’s feeling this emptiness and looks for someone to fill it, that’s why he’s obsessed with Vernon. He just wants to date someone.’ 

‘That’s all it is, isn’t  it? ’ The leader agrees. He picks up a pen laying on top of his desk and studies it for a moment, then fumbles with it nervously. ‘I’m sorry for dragging you all the way here for this, Yoongs.’ 

The older boy accepts the apology shortly. ‘Don’t worry, I know you just care about us.’ He stands up, avoiding looking at the other. ‘See you later, Joon-ah.’ He glances briefly at him though before turning towards the door again. 

The concern is still there. It’s not easy to wash away Namjoon’s worries from his mind; not in such short amount of time. They will remain there until he organises everything in his head properly, until he sticks tiny labels on the pages full of words and decides what to do next. 

The weather is still disgustingly hot when he steps out of the air-conditioned studio and onto the sunny street. He heads back to the house; phone, keys and wallet weighing down his black gym shorts but the convenience shop right in front of him looks inviting, like an oasis in the middle of a desert and he reckons he could get a cold drink. 

He does buy a bottle of cold lemon soda. Impulsively, he buys a bottle of soju too. 

The two glass bottles clink  rhythmically against each other in the plastic bag as he walks in the direction of a nearby park. Sitting down under a huge tree,  Yoongi opens the soda first, greedily drinking half of it at once. Then he proceeds to open the bottle of soju and pour as much as can go in, into the first bottle, mixing the two. 

The rapper observes the little bubbles at the surface for about five  heartbeats until he finally puts it to his mouth and takes a long swig. It feels glorious. Almost like the old times. 

He takes another long gulp and rests his heavy head against the tree behind him.

Yoongi told Namjoon he’s okay, didn’t he? He told him he doesn’t feel anything, didn’t he? So, why in the world, is he hiding alone in a park, drinking alcohol at four in the afternoon?

** Jimin **

‘There is nothing wrong in looking for something new.’ Jimin listens to  Jin’s words in silence, sitting cross-legged on his bed. He decides he loves this side of his  hyung . The mature and wise side that makes him think about everything and nothing at the same time. ‘I understand you better than anyone, Jimin. This was one of the biggest reasons when I considered leaving the band last year.’ 

In the bright light of the afternoon,  Jin’s dark hair shine brilliantly and his shoulders look as strong and broad as ever but there are unfulfilled desires behind his eyes, wishes for a lifestyle very different from the one he currently lives, hiding in the lines at corners of his pink lips. 

‘A house of your own, no cameras, someone to make you breakfast and at the same time someone you could make breakfast for.’ Jimin begins and watches some type of feeling he’s never really seen before paint itself slowly on the elder boy’s handsome features. ‘A dog by your lap, a warm cup of coffee in your hand, making your own travel plans, movie dates, butterflies in your stomach?’ As the list goes on, the older boy looks to the window in concentration. 

He turns back to Jimin and smiles lightly, waking from his daze. ‘Something like that.’ He takes a deep breath. ‘Don’t misunderstand me, Jimin-ah, I am the most thankful for the life I have right now, I appreciate all of it but I’m nearly thirty now and I’m not getting any younger. Soon, I’ll need to fulfil my military duty, which will also take two years out of my life.’ The younger knows his  hyung has been thinking about it for some time now. Only when drunk he would spill his doubts left and right sloppily, then quickly try to mask them with the intoxicated laughter that follows his words. ‘I don’t know if I will be able to go back... I don’t know if I’ll be able to continue with you guys afterwards.’ 

He never wanted to think about it. He tried not to even imagine their group without their oldest member. It just didn’t work; already in his mind, it felt empty to even imagine that kind of situation. 

‘Hyung, you don’t need to decide yet, don’t worry about it now.’ Jimin moves closer and puts his arms around the other boy in comfort. His yellow jumper contrasts with Jin’s black hoodie. 

‘I know, I’m just trying to show you that...’ He hesitates for a second, looking for the appropriate words. ‘You have the time that I’m running out of, Jimin.’ The black-haired boy places his large hands on top of the pair of smaller ones on his waist. ‘I understand what you want and what you need but if you can wait just a bit longer...’ 

Only now the blonde dancer begins to see how selfish he’s been this whole time. He’s not the only one in this kind of situation, having these kinds of feeling but he’s the only one who’s speaking about them out loud, putting himself in the centre of other’s attention. 

He’s poured all his desires into idolising Vernon, made the younger boy the object of his entire attention. Now he begins to realise that it was a mere distraction. Of course, the Seventeen’s member is beautiful and talented but he is not the one. They don’t even know each other and he doubts they ever will.

It hurts. Accepting that the long road you took in hopes of finding something solid, something secure has turned out to be nothing but a dead end. 

‘I’m sorry.’ Jimin whispers letting go of the warm, solid form of his hyung. ‘I understand now and I’ll stop behaving like a child. I’m a grown man, I can wait for the right one that will surely one day come.’ He notices the strong, searching look that Jin gives him. 

The older vocalist takes his hand in both of his and squeezes lightly. Jimin smiles prettily at him in return and begins to feel a bit more at peace. His emotions take a  much-needed rest too. Soon,  Jin gets up from the bed slowly and turns to leave. 

He stops just before he reaches the closed, white door. ‘I wasn’t going to tell you this but I think you’ve really grown stronger mentally in the last year and...’ He starts but then closes his lips, looking around the room awkwardly, clearly fighting some  internal battle in his head. Jimin watches the other  intensely , waiting for his next words with anticipation. ‘You know, if you really need such comfort, my advice would be not to look for it too far away. Sometimes the things we need might be closer than we expect.’ With that he leaves quickly, shutting the door quietly behind him. 

Jimin is left alone, sitting on his bed, staring at the wall in front of him, contemplating what that last sentence was supposed to mean.

***

He’s watching TV in the living room by himself that evening when Taehyung approaches him carefully, sitting close on the sofa. 

‘What are you watching,  hyung ?’ He asks casually, staring at the screen instead of Jimin and stuffs his mouth with cherry-flavoured jellies. 

It’s clear he’s not really interested in the answer and has other motives but the older boy decides to go along with it and answers calmly. ‘Some old film, it’s kind of confusing, I’m not really sure what’s going on.’ 

‘Huh.’ The artificial cherry scent fills the air between them every time the younger speaks. Taehyung finally looks at him and clears his throat. ‘I actually wanted to apologize. For what I said earlier. I didn’t mean it to sound that way I just...’ 

‘It’s okay, Tae.’ Jimin  interrupts him and smiles a little, gently. ‘I accept your apology and I’m sorry too, my behaviour was annoying, I know.’ The relief is clear in the younger vocalist’s big dark eyes. 

‘Good.’ He places his hand on his chest over where his heart is and his shoulders drop, relaxing further. ‘I hate fighting with you.’ He smiles that cute, boxy smile of his. 

They shake hands and laugh, glancing at the film still playing on the TV screen every now and then until Taehyung says he needs to go since he’s promised Jungkook to have a drawing session together. 

Jimin finishes the last jelly he had in his mouth and nods, watching the other boy stand up hurriedly. ‘You can keep them,  hyung . Enjoy the movie.’ He places the red plastic bag in his lap and waves on the way out of the room. 

The blonde tries to focus on the film but it somehow makes even less sense than it did before. However, in its place, another thing becomes slightly clearer. He glances again in the direction in which Taehyung has disappeared and remembers Jin’s advice from earlier. 

Biting hard into one of the round  fragrant jellies he wonders if it’s not too bold of an assumption. Could this really be what the elder vocalist has been implying? Surely, he couldn’t be talking about one of their members, could he? 

With his heart increasing its pace and shallow nervous breaths leaving his lips, a certain member’s face appears in his mind so vividly, it’s almost like he’s standing right in front of Jimin. 

He begins to feel dizzy. 


	3. Part 3

** Jimin **

Once he regains his calm breath again, he begins to analyse it. Rationally, from the beginning, all over again. 

He excludes the obvious two. The secret, soulmate-like couple of BTS –  Jungguk and Taehyung. Jimin has extremely close bond with both but he has never noticed any advances from either of them that could indicate interest in a polyamorous relationship. Taehyung perhaps could have had that idea at some point, even if very brief but the  maknae is way too possessive over his boyfriend to probably even let that thought into his head.

Moving on, he knows that both  Jin and Namjoon are openly straight and have been discussing the type of girls they would love to date many times. Interestingly, their tastes in women have matured as time went on, evolving from the cute and fresh to more smart and sexy type in Jin’s case and the exact opposite for Namjoon. 

This leaves  Hoseok and  Yoongi . At that thought, something ignites within him. Both of those boys could be his options, since  Yoongi , just like Jimin is openly bisexual and their dance leader is proudly pansexual. 

He bites his lip as he analyses hard, trying to think if one of the two has ever showed any attention to him that left him wondering but he comes up with nothing. Perhaps he’s never noticed, perhaps it was extremely subtle. However, when he thinks of  Hoseok , he just has that  certainty; a feeling that all the little things the older does for him and with him are so brotherly. It would be quite a shock to find the rapper having any feelings for him that could go beyond entirely platonic. 

And then there was one. 

Jimin stares at the TV screen where images are still moving, switching from one meaningless scene to the next one but his mind is full of one, mysterious boy. Throughout the years he’s been finding out more and more about his  hyung . At times he’s even felt as if he’s carrying out an eternal investigation regarding Min  Yoongi . Each time he thinks he’s near the end, close to finding the definite answer, he has this ground-breaking discovery that makes him realise he’s still thousands of miles away from it. There are curves and edges to  Yoongi’s character that he feels nobody knows. He hides them well; his secret weapon and that makes him seem so deep and unknown. 

Like the dark yet beautiful, full of coral floor of the wide, wide ocean. 

He decides to go with his gut; he needs answers. He wants to know if it’s possible that this is what  Jin meant, that the oldest of the group knows something he doesn’t. He pops the last jelly into his mouth before scrunching the bag in hands and getting up to throw it away. 

Sounds of keys clinking loudly together and heavy steps fill the silence, coming from the front door. Jimin makes his way towards the source of the noise, soon standing close enough to see the person occupying his recent thoughts closing the door behind him, struggling to take off his shoes while trying to keep his balance. 

‘Hyung?’ He calls out curiously when he realises the older boy must have had a drink or two. 

Yoongi snaps his head up, eyes shifting from the floor to the younger in surprise. ‘Ah, Jimin-ah, you scared me.’ He tries to sound normal but he slurs a little, supporting himself on the wall of the living room with one hand like it’s his life line. 

Clearly the other isn’t that drunk, just very tipsy and it’s not the first time he sees that kind of sight. He’s unsure if his help would be the most welcomed right now. ‘Are you okay?’ But words fully of worry come out of his mouth automatically and he still moves to stand closer because he’s Park Jimin. 

There are few steps of distance between them when Jimin stops, waiting, trying not to look too concerned. 

‘I’m alright, I just need to lie down for a bit.’ He mumbles under his breath but Jimin can hear him perfectly.  Yoongi tries to walk in the direction of his room but he nearly stumbles, so out of instinct Jimin shifts closer and grabs his hyung’s arm in support. 

Yoongi grabs onto the younger boy’s shoulder to steady himself when the world around him spins dangerously and mumbles a weak “thank you”, looking at the floor, somehow avoiding Jimin’s gaze. ‘Are you sure you don’t want my help, hyung?’ He asks softly. 

That’s when  Yoongi looks straight into the dancer’s eyes. They’re so close now. Jimin takes in the extra pale face of the older boy and wonders what was it this time. There were many times he’s seen the producer like this; usually it was depression or exhaustion or family problems that would push him towards alcohol but this time he simply has no idea.

‘You smell like cherries.’  Yoongi states instead of answering the question with a glint in his eyes, looking at Jimin from under his lashes. 

Jimin chuckles and wants to tell the other that he, on the other hand, smells like soju and citrus but decides against it. ‘I just ate a whole pack of cherry-flavoured jellies.’ He replies mechanically instead and presses his lips together tightly. 

He’s aware of the older boy glancing at his lips  momentarily , just a passing, intoxicated gaze but feels strangely hot under the stare. The elder’s eyes are back up on his two seconds later and Yoongi drops his hand from his shoulder, moving away. 

‘I’ll go have a nap.’ He  announces shortly then begins to walk slowly towards his own room, leaving Jimin behind with slightly pink cheeks and mixed feelings. 

The blonde boy begins to think he’s wrong about all of this. 

He got this absurd idea in his head that perhaps one of the members harbours feelings for him that go beyond platonic and somehow, he thought  Yoongi might be the most possible option, so now he’s starting to see things that are not there. He’s suddenly starting to interpret the actions he’s always seen from all his members countless times before, as something more. 

He always does that. He looks for secret truths that don’t exist and then overthinks everything which only results in huge amounts of internal suffering for no apparent reason. 

***

The next day, at dance practice, he observes  Jin . He burns to ask. The question repeats itself in his head as he goes through the choreography but he’s so scared. For one, he’s scared that by doing so he’ll be pushing his  hyung into saying something that he can’t or doesn’t want to say. On the other hand, he’s scared that  Jin will simply tell him that this is not what he meant. That he wasn’t referring to any of them in particular. 

‘You look like you just had a shower, Namjoon-ah.’ The eldest laughs while they’re  sitting side by side on the floor, gulping down water. 

The younger boy flops down to the floor completely, starfish shape on the wooden tiles, long limbs stretched into all directions of the world. ‘I hate dance practices during the summer.’ Jimin smiles fondly, hearing that.

He says that every summer. Many a time before the sweat has gotten into his eyes and made him a crying, suffering mess on the floor. 

‘You say that every summer.’  Yoongi mentions briefly before taking another sip of water. Perhaps he’s the one suffering the most today, sweating out the remains of his hangover. 

Jimin chuckles at that and pushes at his arm playfully. ‘You read my mind,  hyung .’  Yoongi gives him a passing glance but doesn’t comment. 

The blonde dancer lets his eyes linger on the other’s face. The pink, flushed cheeks, the shiny sweat at his forehead and neck, greyish-brown hair sticking to his skin in messy ways. He’s seen this countless times before and this time isn’t any different but he still wonders. 

He shouldn’t have thought those things in the first place. Now his treacherous brain will try to find things to convince himself that he was right because he hates being wrong. It won’t lead to any good, he already knows. 

It feels like he’s betraying himself when he walks to the studio in the late afternoon. He lets his own legs carry him and while his heart is shaking in nervousness, his determination stands. 

He just wants to know, to explore the idea discreetly before he makes up his mind; before he undoubtedly realises that he was indeed wrong, so that he can accept it as the truth and go back to how he was before. 

He punches in the code he’s persuaded an innocent  Hoseok into giving him under the false pretence of surprising his  hyung with coffee. Well, it’s a half-lie; Jimin does indeed have the coffee but that’s irrelevant really. 

Th e first thing he sees is a really surprised expression of his  hyung when he pushes the heavy door open. Loud beat shakes the small studio but  Yoongi quickly switches it off. 

‘What’s going on? Why are you here?’ He stares at the younger from under his black baseball cap. 

‘I... Um...’ Jimin stutters, growing more nervous. He hasn’t thought it through at all. ‘I asked Hobi- hyung for the code, I hope you’re not upset. You can change it as soon as I leave, I just wanted to hung out and...’ He finally manages to explain hurriedly. He raises up the bag with two cups inside. ‘I brought coffee.’ 

‘Right.’ He sees the rapper sigh visibly but then he just nods good-naturedly. ‘Thanks, Jimin-ah.’ It’s barely audible, Yoongi’s usual volume. 

The blonde sits at the edge of the brown couch and hands the other his usual iced americano then takes a sip of his own iced caramel latte. ‘What are you working on,  hyung ?’ He asks casually glancing at the screen where he doesn’t understand much of what is going on there but still tries to figure it out, concentrating hard. 

He’s aware of the elder’s eyes on his face. ‘Just making the beat for one of the songs for my mix tape.’ He explains slowly, then clicks two times on a file simply titled “13” and the beat that he’s heard when he first barged uninvited into the room, plays again. ‘What do you think?’ 

He tries to think of something to say. ‘It’s powerful, I like it.’ He says honestly and feels strangely exposed, so in the spotlight when Yoongi keeps his eyes on him like this. ‘You know I don’t know much about rap.’ 

The composer kills the beat and drowns the room in silence. ‘But you know about music and you have the eye and ear for beautiful things.’ He states and takes a long sip of his cold drink through the straw, looking away from Jimin’s eyes. 

This surprises him. It’s not often his  hyung speaks such sweet things to him. Not that he never does either but it’s usually saved for moments when they’re all gathered together as a group and the sentimental mood comes upon them, often paired with something stronger to drink; a little dose of liquid courage. 

After a while, Jimin simply smiles prettily at him. ‘Thank you for the compliment.’ He watches  Yoongi press the side of the clear plastic cup to his cheek, closing his eyes briefly at the refreshing coolness in the middle of summer. ‘In my opinion it’s very good just as it is now.’ 

They stare at each other for an elongated moment. Jimin swallows under the intense yet soft, searching gaze. ‘So, you really just came here to hang out, give me coffee and ask what I’m doing?’ He scrunches his brows, leaning back in his chair, turning his head to the side in unmasked curiosity. 

‘Yeah.’ Jimin runs a hand through his thick hair. It’s so hot in here. Doesn’t he have the air-con on or something? He begins to look around the room walls for it before giving up and bringing his eyes back to the other boy. ‘I was bored.’ Well, that last thing is just a straight lie.

Yoongi laughs shortly, seeing through him and Jimin knows he’s screwed. ‘Well, that’s not true but whatever, you can stay here if you want. Just let me work in peace.’ He turns back to his computer and Jimin breathes just a little better when the attention is off of him. 

He places the cup of coffee on the floor by the couch and sits more comfortably, bringing his legs close to his chest, folding them and hugging with his arms. He does it all as quietly as he can not to disturb the other. Yet he can’t help but take the opportunity to gaze at the other boy’s profile. 

Min  Yoongi is most handsome when he’s focused on work, he’s discovered a long time ago, but this time he acknowledges it again. This time, he adds more - interesting, even when he’s not doing much; just staying still,  Yoongi is captivating. Was he always like that? Or has Jimin never paid that much attention?

‘Why are you looking at me like that?’  Yoongi finally turns to face him again, questioning look on his delicate features. 

‘You’re the only other person in the room, where else should I look?’ The dancer answers with another question. For a second, he’s sure his  hyung will ask him to leave because he’s distracting but  Yoongi doesn’t comment. ‘And you look nice today,  hyung .’ He adds thoughtlessly, honestly. 

The rapper turns back to the computer slowly but he sits at the desk stiffly, not moving at all as if frozen. His hand is completely still on the mouse, eyes seemingly glued to the screen but there is a serious, deep, far-away look in them. 

Then something completely unexpected happens. 

Yoongi’s voice is low and a little shaky when he asks. ‘Jimin, how do you know?’ 

There is a certain heaviness and depth to the question that jump starts something in his chest, like sparks they explode. Few immense seconds later, Jimin can almost hear his own heartbeat in the silence that follows. 

He’s quite surprised and mildly confused but before he can ask, the elder boy asks again, fiercer. ‘How do you know?’ He just knows it’s something heavy; he knows it’s important. He can barely breathe. ‘Namjoon told you, hasn’t he?’ 

‘I...’ Jimin starts but he honestly doesn’t even know what he wants to say. He doesn’t know what the other is talking about and he desperately tries to figure it out, he tries so hard to get out of his deluded mind too but the spark of hope that comes unexpectedly won’t leave so fast. He tries to calm down his frantic heart but he’s failing at everything right now, so he just says the first thing he can think of. ‘I’m sorry.’ 

He’s looking at the floor, overwhelmed and emotional and still so confused but he can’t bring himself to ask.

‘It’s me who’s sorry, Jimin-ah.’ He’s never heard his  hyung’s voice this weak and defeated. ‘I never meant for my feelings towards you to develop into this... I had no control. All I know is they stopped being merely platonic somewhere around the “Run” era.’ 

At this point Jimin’s mind is becoming clearer and in the stuffy, hot studio, he’s reminding himself silently to keep breathing when it feels like his lungs are slowly and steadily closing.

‘You can think of me whatever you want, you have the right to do so but I promise.’ From the corner of his eye, he can see  Yoongi glance up from the nervous hands in his own lap to the younger’s face. ‘I promise I never  _ meant _ to fall for you, Jimin.’ 

** Yoong ** ** i **

He watches Jimin’s face pale more and more with every moment. He’s trying to explain, to save the situation but it’s too late, so he just stops, closes his mouth and accepts his fate. 

Yoongi thinks the younger seems very surprised still, considering that he already knew about it before he came to the studio today but he guesses it’s different to hear it from someone else and from the person themselves. He doesn’t know how much Namjoon told him either but it must have been just enough. 

He could clearly feel there was something wrong as soon as the dancer appeared. The lies were written on his face and he kept staring into him like he was just waiting for the words to leave Yoongi’s mouth. 

It’s so silent. Jimin is looking at the floor stubbornly and he wonders what the other feels. Doubts are burning in his brain but he’s afraid to ask. For a second, it felt so good, so freeing to finally say it out loud to him; release the thoughts from his head but as soon as the words left his mouth, his heart squeezed painfully. 

‘Hyung, I have no idea what to say to you right now.’ He finally hears and it’s barely a breath; strained and choked up sentence and he begin to feel guilty. It’s all his fault.

‘Please.’ He’s aware of how broken he sounds. He only now starts to see that he has brought about a storm that might leave only chaos and nothingness after it’s done displaying its destructive power over the once orderly and peaceful city. And all he can do is watch. ‘Jimin, say something before I lose my fucking mind.’ He searches the still ghostly pale face, the glistening eyes of the other boy. 

Their eyes finally meet. Jimin sets his feet back on the floor and moves closer to sit at the very edge of the couch.  Yoongi waits, holds his breath as the younger reaches out to take the composer’s bigger hand in his own. 

It’s warm and soft like it’s always been and he breathes a tiny bit deeper, exhaling tiredly. Jimin is not pushing him away, yet  Yoongi still wants to run; run away just like that first time he’s felt these new feelings blooming in his chest. Turquoise blue leather jacket and freshly-dyed orange hair flashes in his mind. A beautiful, happy boy screaming at the top of his lungs in a middle of a green field, the ringing sound has managed to shatter the glass walls behind which his heart hid.

‘You have nothing to apologise for.’ Jimin begins after a long, steadying breath. His cheeks slowly begin to regain their normal colour but his eyes get even glossier. ‘It’s okay to love,  hyung .’ He speaks so softly; his words are as warm as his hands and  Yoongi absorbs them greedily to soothe his aching soul. ‘Sure, I’m surprised; sure, it’s new and so different from the love I’m used to receiving from you but I won’t reject it. Never.’ He assures and  Yoongi barely manages to hold in the tears in his eyes. 

‘I know you don’t reciprocate my feelings for you and of course, I could never expect you to.’ He rushes to make the other understand. ‘I just hope our current relationship won’t change for worse now that you know.’ He says what his head dictates him. The rational part of him that he values above all else.

‘I treasure you; you know that. I love you and value our friendship beyond anything else. I can’t imagine our group without you the same way I can’t imagine it without any of the others. That won’t change,  hyung .’ That makes  Yoongi feel a little better. ‘I don’t think our relationship can change for worse, no matter what develops as we go on. Because we’re more than just a group of guys, a group of friends. We’ve spent almost half our lives working together, having fun together and crying together.’ He nods feeling nostalgic and moved. He wonders when exactly has Jimin had the time to mature like this. ‘We went through so much and have this strong bond even though our personalities are so different . You know, truth is, it could have gone either way - just as easily as we’ve grown to love each other, we could have grown to hate one another. Feelings change all the time and it’s not something we can control.’ 

Somewhere along the conversation, they both end up sitting on the floor, side by side, backs resting against the old couch. ‘Thank you.’  Yoongi looks forward to the white wall, emotionally exhausted but equally relieved. He never thought his first love confession would happen here, in his precious studio, the place where he’s had moments of pure genius and of pure frustration, where he’s had countless mental breakdowns as well as moments of much-needed peace of mind. 

‘No matter what, you’re our smart, amazing, strong, talented Yoongi.’ Jimin smiles at him lightly, his skin is shining lightly in the dim lighting and his cheeks look so soft. ‘ _ My  _ smart, amazing, strong, talented __ Yoongi-hyung .’ He feels shy hearing the compliments but he manages to smile back lightly. 

Jimin moves closer and puts his arm around him, leaning his head on the elder’s shoulder and  Yoongi exhales deeply. 

He’ll be fine. They will be fine. 

Falling in love with a friend doesn’t need to be the end of anything. Neither does it have to be a beginning of anything new. 

***

He should have known that Namjoon won’t keep his secret forever. Perhaps he shouldn’t have told him,  Yoongi thinks, laying in his bed that night, sleep far away from his reach. 

But at the same time, it felt so good, so relieving to tell him. 

To be fair, Namjoon has done well. He has kept it for few long years and for that he’s thankful to the other; if he would have told Jimin much before, it would have been too early, it could have ended way worse than now. 

He knows the leader is back at the house, he’s seen him briefly in the kitchen with Taehyung making some tea but he didn’t say anything. There is nothing to talk about. He’s shared  Yoongi’s secret with Jimin without his permission and that is maybe a little painful but then Jimin really took the news with sensibleness that seemed beyond his age. 

His personal fountain of youth... It seems it hides a great depth and wisdom inside that cannot be seen from the outside. 

Yoongi isn’t stupid though. He knows it won’t be exactly the same as before now that the other knows; he doesn’t even expect it to be so but as long as they can remain close and work well without any  noticeable air of awkwardness between them then that’s all he wishes for. 

He breathes a long, troubled breath. He’s thought of that day so many times. That day when he finally tells Jimin about his feelings. He wondered what it would look like. Would they already be men in their thirties, BTS, a golden memory of the past when  Yoongi finally gathers his courage to open his mouth or would he accidently spill it while drunk, in front of everyone? 

Now he finally has the answer. It’s neither of those. It’s a hot summer’s day, it’s Jimin with his iconic honey blonde hair, it’s his very own Genius Lab, it’s iced coffees on the floor by their feet, it’s a quiet and sober conversation, it’s acceptance, it’s his favourite black baseball cap and Jimin’s oversized white Puma t-shirt.

He falls asleep with a mind full of doubts and anxieties biting at his crazy dreams that he luckily won’t remember the moment he opens his eyes tomorrow. 


	4. Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter !  
> Enjoy! :)

** Jimin **

He doesn’t think he should feel like this. 

He should be nervous and unsure about their future as individuals and together as a band. He should be feeling confused and awkward because things are changing quite drastically but he’s not. 

Jimin is feeling happy, relieved. Such basic, positive emotions, after all that he’s heard yesterday evening from Yoongi. All night he couldn’t sleep, constantly waking and tossing, remembering their conversation, barely believing it really happened each time he opened his eyes. 

He wanted to go out; in his hazy brain at three o’clock in the morning, he wanted to take a walk, to go to a bar and drink, to dance in the middle of the street and he had no idea why. People usually drink alcohol when they’re insanely sad or insanely happy. All he knew is that he was not sad at all. In the end, he blamed it all on the overwhelming emotions and adrenaline still flowing through his veins. 

He’s exhausted from lack of proper sleep but still in a decent mood after he wakes up the next day. Strangely, he doesn’t even mind that the view greeting him in the kitchen from the very morning is Jungguk and Taehyung passionately making out against the marble counter. 

Jimin simply clears his throat to announce his presence, watching the two jump away from each other, startled. 

‘Hyung, I thought you’ll be still asleep for a while, we have no schedules today.’ The  maknae awkwardly explains himself. 

‘Well, I’m awake. Surprise, surprise.’ The blonde dancer smiles and gets some food from the fridge, paying little attention to the two but very aware of their eyes on him at all times. ‘Don’t be so awkward, you’re a couple, anyone can walk in on you kissing at  any time . We’re sharing a house after all.’ He adds, shrugging his shoulders. 

‘Ah, really?’ Taehyung sounds taken by surprise by that statement. Jimin is not really shocked. He’s well aware that had a slightly different attitude to the two’s PDA just a few days ago. 

‘Sure. As long as it’s no more than kissing and you both still have your clothes on, I’m fine.’ He begins to crack two eggs into the hot pan, watching the clear substance around the yolks starting to turn milky white. ‘Did you two eat yet? Want some scrambled eggs?’ 

‘Eggs sound great.’  Jungguk licks his lips looking into the pan and Jimin chuckles, reaching out for more eggs to add, for the hungry members. 

Soon enough, there are loud sounds coming from the hall. Heavy footsteps and voices turn out to belong to  Hoseok , Yoongi and Jin. 

‘Someone frying eggs?’ The dance leader asks excitedly, smelling the air near the stove. Without asking, Jimin reaches for more butter and eggs to add, happy that he chose the big pan instead of the small one. 

Jin looks over his shoulder in curiosity. ‘Want some help?’ He asks gently and Jimin feels more secure with their eldest  hyung near him while he’s cooking. 

‘I should be fine. If you want to help  hyung , please take out the kimchi from the fridge and make some toast to go with the eggs maybe.’ Jimin suggests gently and Jin nods enthusiastically, walking towards the fridge. 

Adding some soy sauce and spicy pepper paste to the pan, Jimin feels so comfortable. The chatter in the background, the smell of food in the air... 

‘Coffee anyone?’ The dancer almost startles at the voice. He looks at the figure next to him while Yoongi takes everyone’s drink orders, standing by the coffee machine. ‘What about you, Jimin-ah?’ The younger stares at him for a long moment, barely catching the question.

‘Iced latte, thanks  hyung .’ He goes back to stirring the food gently. It’s not awkward. It’s a normal morning like many past ones. 

But he still wonders. 

Jin approaches him holding a cute pink apron he wars when he cooks. ‘Put this on.’ He places the spatula down and lets his  hyung put the apron on him and tie it around his waist. Then he quickly gets a big platter and puts the scrambled eggs on it when they seem to be ready. 

‘Dig in, guys.’ He places it on the table, everyone cheering, thanking him for cooking and complimenting the food he’s made. 

Jimin starts cooking the second batch knowing well enough that one won’t be enough for all of them. He feels Yoongi’s eyes on him, so he turns to the side again. 

The older boy is just adding ice to the drinks and stirring slowly while looking at him. When their eyes meet, he quickly looks down then passes Jimin his iced latte. ‘That’s yours.’ Yoongi mumbles then grabs two iced americanos he’s made earlier and turns to pass them to the other boys. 

Jimin brings his eyes back to the eggs sizzling in the pan, trying not to smile. It doesn’t at all feel awkward or weird but it feels different. Looking at someone while knowing they have feelings for you. It sends chills down his spine; it makes him a tiny bit more self-conscious. Instinctively he adjusts the pink apron around his hips and runs a hand through his honey-coloured hair in an attempt to make it look neater. 

Jimin collects the empty platter from the table minutes later and refills it with more food before placing it back in its original place. At that time, Namjoon walks in. 

‘Breakfast?’ His eyes lit up as he looks at the boys at the table, busy eating and chatting. 

Jimin passes him a plate with a small smile. ‘Help yourself,  hyung .’ They both sit down to eat. 

‘You never cook for everyone,  Jiminie , what happened?’ The leader asks, laughter from  Hoseok following his words very closely. The blonde dancer just rolls his eyes in response as he sips on his iced latte. ‘You look cute too. Isn’t that Jin-hyung's apron?’ 

Jimin looks down to the frilly light pink apron he’s still wearing. ‘Obviously, this kind of hideous thing can only belong to Jin-hyung.’ He replies and from the corner of his eye, he sees Yoongi snort. 

‘Yah! What’s that supposed to mean?!’  Jin bursts out and everyone laughs including Jimin himself. 

‘Pink suits you, you should wear it more often.’ Taehyung adds seriously, around a mouthful of toast, looking closer at what the dancer is wearing with a glint in his eye.

‘Totally.’  Hoseok agrees, looking up from his plate at the boy in question briefly. 

Jimin only sighs as he starts on his breakfast. His eyes meet with Yoongi’s over the table somewhere in the middle of the meal and he notices that for some reason, the older boy’s cheeks are a little pink, much like the damned apron tied tightly around his waist. 

***

Jimin is bored. 

He’s torn between going to practice dancing or starting a  VLive to chat to his fans but doesn’t feel like doing either of those things. He feels a little lonely. The house is almost full but everyone is busy with their own things and he doesn’t want to disturb. 

Before he knows it, he’s halfway there. The late afternoon sun is still fairly strong and the streets are busy as he makes his way to Yoongi’s studio. He’s not expecting much, punching in the code. After all, he’s told the composer to change it. 

The familiar sound of the door unlocking surprises the boy but nevertheless, he pushes the door open. Perhaps Yoongi forgot to set a new one...

It’s dark and empty inside as he expected. Switching on the tall lamp in the corner, Jimin walks in further and closes the door behind him. Briefly, he wonders if this is wrong. Perhaps he shouldn’t have come when the owner of the place is not here but he just needed a quiet space to think. Somewhere comforting and safe, somewhere he won’t be distracted by the things he has in his own room. 

He exhales deeply, laying down heavily on the couch. Staring at the ceiling, he wishes the older boy would be here with him. 

He’s so torn. He’s promised himself not to do anything about Yoongi’s confession. Not to think too much, not to change his behaviour but it’s harder than he expected. It’s so easy to get used to – the comfortable feeling of security, of the certainty that there is someone who adores you from afar. Someone who has seen your best and your worst and still holds you above everyone else. 

It’s changing him. It’s influencing him, soaking up every fibre of his being and he’s powerless to stop it. He’s just watching, waiting and letting it float in whichever direction it wants to. However, that way of letting things just take their own path might be a little dangerous. He really hopes it doesn’t break the relationship they have but even if it ends up doing that, he won’t blame Yoongi for confessing. 

Jimin has told him yesterday that it’s okay to love, to let the heart feel what it wants to feel and those words came from within his soul, from the depth of his heart. 

He yawns loudly laying there, staring at the ceiling and doesn’t even realise how heavy his lids have become; doesn’t realise when the white ceiling turns pitch black as he falls into uneasy sleep. 

** Yoongi **

‘Where is Jimin- hyung ?’ Taehyung asks, popping some popcorn into his mouth, as most of the members gather in the living room to watch a movie together like they planned earlier. 

The composer looks around in curiosity but the younger is nowhere to be seen. 

‘I’ll check if he’s in his room.’  Jungguk is already running off towards the other side of the house. 

Yoongi settles on the edge of the sofa quietly, waiting. He checks his phone, just in case there is any message he hasn’t noticed before but there is nothing. 

‘He’s not there.’ The youngest announces, taking a sit next to Taehyung, typing something on his phone. ‘I’ll try sending a text, maybe he just went for a walk and forgot about it.’ 

Soon, the members begin arguing over which movie to watch and whether they should order some food to eat and while Yoongi is nearby physically, mentally he’s miles away, wondering about Jimin’s whereabouts. The younger doesn’t usually forget the promises he’s made. 

Every now and then, Yoongi glances at  Jungguk’s phone which quietly rests on top of the glass table. 

‘Maybe we should move the movie night to another day since Jimin isn’t here?’ Namjoon suggests, looking around at their faces, unsure. ‘To be honest, I’m also a little tired after the photoshoot today, my eyes hurt from all the bright flashing lights.’ 

‘Me too. I’m not really in the mood today. Let’s do it another day.’ The oldest rapper quickly cuts in, knowing all too well he won’t be able to focus on the film if he’s constantly thinking about Jimin and his absence. 

In the end, they decide that whoever wants to stay, can stay and who wants to go, can go. This leaves  Jin ,  Hoseok , Taehyung and  Jungguk on the large couch in front of the TV. Namjoon walks into the kitchen to grab something to eat in his room while he works on a song. Yoongi follows him there, looking for something to drink. 

Taking a long swig of the energy drink in his hand, he watches their leader closely.

Why hasn’t he told Yoongi anything yet? He’s told Jimin his biggest secret that the older has precisely instructed him not to ever do and he pretends like nothing happened? Is there something Yoongi is missing from the whole story?

‘Something on my face, hyung?’ 

That wakes him up from his thoughts. When their eyes meet, he hesitates for a moment with his mouth slightly open, the questions at the very tip of his tongue. ‘No. I was just lost in my thought, nothing important.’ He quickly answers, leaving the kitchen. 

All the way to his room, Namjoon’s innocent face haunts him. The thing is, their leader is a bad liar, he can’t pretend, so why is he so calm around Yoongi? Doesn’t he feel at all bad for what he’s done? Does he even know that Jimin confessed to Yoongi that he knows the truth? 

A lot of things don’t really make sense but he decides to leave it alone for now. 

He gets bored, playing a mobile game in his room as soon as he starts it. It’s still light outside the window and before he knows what he’s doing, he’s leaving. Passing the living room, some American action film is playing on the TV,  Jin and  Hoseok immersed in it, while their youngest is snoozing away on Taehyung’s shoulder comfortably. Nobody even notices him passing by with the loud explosion and gun shooting sounds coming from the large speakers. 

It’s a little cooler outside now, in the evening. The heat and humidity are still hanging in the air but the soft breeze, hitting his face every now and then as he walks is delightful. It’s inspiring. Sometimes, the strangest things are. Lyrics are forming in his mind; Yoongi begins to walk faster. 

***

When he pushes the door open gently, his heart stills for a long moment. 

Everything freezes, he just stands there. For the first time ever, he wonders if he shouldn’t just leave. Leave this scene uninterrupted like this. But then everything that seemed to freeze, suddenly melts; he too, melts a little, cheeks colouring the lightest of pink that shouldn’t be too visible in the orange light of the lonely corner lamp. 

It’s his studio after all. Yoongi shuts the door quietly, walking in just a little further inside. He looks at the sleeping figure of Jimin on the couch. The way he looks so peaceful, the way the light hits his cheekbones, highlighting them. Yoongi comes closer and stares for some time, sitting on the floor, legs crossed, hands supporting his chin. 

All thoughts leave his mind but he stares so hard, trying to remember this sight. Trying to imprint it in his head because... it’s simply beautiful. Yoongi’s heart jumps at the thought of finding Jimin like this, in his studio, falling asleep while waiting for him to come, more often. 

Why is he here anyway? Is it going to be a regular occurrence from now on? 

Selfishly, he wants to believe it may be. Rationally, he hopes that won’t be the case. 

He reaches out his hand to wake the other up and halfway there, it stills. Hovering like this, centimetres from Jimin’s shoulder, his fingers itch to touch. To gently stroke the younger’s soft cheeks, to run his fingers through the golden shiny hair but he doesn’t.

‘Jimin-ah, wake up!’ He shakes him harshly instead but the other boy only grunts unintelligibly. ‘C’mon, now. Get up.’ He tries again, speaking louder, shaking his shoulder even harder. 

The younger dancer opens his eyes slowly, blinking the remains of sleep from his eyes. ‘Hyung?’ He asks confusedly, cutely. 

Yoongi gets up from the hard floor and moves to sit at his desk, switching his computer on. ‘Is there a reason why you’re alone, asleep in my studio at this hour?’ He asks without glancing at the younger. 

‘I...’ Jimin starts, his voice very sleepy and deep, unlike his normal pitch. ‘I came to have some peace and quiet but then... I didn’t even realise when I fell asleep.’ He explains looking around and at the same time, trying to sort out his messy hair. 

‘I see.’ 

Yoongi can feel the eyes on him but he still stubbornly pretends to be working. He can really feel it. The undeniable tension in the air; it makes his insides twist uncomfortably within his chest, his hands feel cold due to the nerves. 

‘Can I stay for a bit?’ He hears a tiny, hopeful voice. 

It takes a lot for him to say this. ‘Sure.’ He sounds anything but confident and relaxed like he normally would be. 

‘Can I take a bottle of water from your minifridge?’ 

Yoongi wonders why he suddenly sounds so timid. The atmosphere in the room is weird. Not awkward or unpleasant in any way but new, strange, heavy. ‘Of course. You don’t need to ask, Jimin-ah, you know that.’ He finally looks at the other boy who is still sitting there, obediently, on the brown couch. ‘What’s mine is yours too.’ 

As the last sentence leaves his mouth, Jimin gives him a long, soft look. A smile forms at his lips and it’s as distracting as it is nice to look at. ‘Thanks,  hyung .’ 

He can’t just sit there; he has to ask. ‘Why are you here? We never used to hang out that often before. Definitely, not in my studio.’ He suddenly blurts out and the blonde boy’s hand holding the cold bottle of water stops halfway, raised to reach his mouth but not quite there yet and his eyes widen. ‘I thought we promised each other that our relationship won’t change.’ 

Jimin takes a long sip after a few short seconds then walks back to sit down on the same spot on the couch again. ‘It hasn’t changed. I just thought...’ He sighs and stops to think of a way to put his thoughts into a proper sentence. ‘I thought we could use this to spend some more time together, to get to know each other better...’ At this point, even Jimin seems to realise how ridiculous it sounds coming from his lips and looks down, giving up on his own words. 

‘Get to know each other better?! Are you hearing yourself?’ Maybe he shouldn’t but that tension within him and around him is making Yoongi want to prod further into this mess. He just wants to know; he needs to know why. ‘We’ve known each other for so long. We know everything about each other!’ He raises his voice and feels a little guilty straight away but still stares stubbornly at Jimin, who in turn is staring equally stubbornly at the floor. 

‘Perhaps you’re right,  hyung .’ He finally whispers and it sounds sad, defeated somehow. Like he has no energy to argue. He looks up at the older boy and gets up slowly. ‘I’m sorry for invading your studio like this. I’ll leave you alone now.’ 

‘Jimin-ah...’ Yoongi tries to stop him, going against himself. He feels like he screwed up yet at the same time he stands by his arguments. He just doesn’t want the other to get the impression that he’s unwelcomed here or that his company is unwanted. In fact, it’s the exact opposite but Yoongi is too much of a coward to admit that. ‘You understand what I mean, right?’ He tries to save himself as if it isn’t too late yet. 

The younger gives him a bitter smile. ‘Of course, don’t worry about it  hyung .’ The sarcasm is written all over his face. 

Yoongi watches him walk towards the exit slowly, placing his hand on the handle. Jimin stops and looks at his  hyung for a long moment before opening his mouth. Yoongi’s heart screams in his chest.

‘Do you know what’s my favourite colour,  hyung ?’ He asks slowly. 

In the dim light, the other looks so angelic. Yoongi feels horrible. ‘Dark blue.’ He answers automatically to which the younger only nods. 

‘Do you know why?’ Jimin asks again and Yoongi can only shake his head. He truly has no clue and no matter how hard he thinks, nothing comes to his mind.

‘It was the colour of the sea in Busan when I first saw it as a child. It’s one of the first memories I can recall.’

Silence stretches between them.

‘Why are you telling me this now?’ Yoongi sounds much softer now, unlike the jarring tone from just a minute ago.

‘I’m just trying to show you... you don’t know everything about me, hyung. In fact, you’re far from it.’ He opens the door as soon as he finishes his reply and leaves Yoongi feeling stunned and alone. 


	5. Part 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .

** Yoongi **

He’s lost in thoughts in the middle of shooting one of their BTS Run episodes, which at first nobody really notices. After all, it’s nothing out of the ordinary. Only when he gets to be in a group with Jimin and Hoseok that he gets even more quiet and awkward. 

‘Are you okay?’ The dance leader asks as they take a short break from filming so that the crew can change batteries in the cameras. 

‘Sure, why?’ He tries to act cool, from the corner of his eye checking if Jimin by any chance isn’t coming back from his bathroom break yet, just in time to overhear their conversation. 

The other doesn’t buy it, studying Yoongi’s face carefully before coming to a decision. ‘Something is wrong but you don’t want to tell me.’ He states confidently before he finally shifts his eyes to the phone in his hands. 

‘Maybe.’ He sighs, admitting defeat. ‘Look, it’s too long of a story, even if I wanted to tell you... It’s not the place nor the time.’ 

The red-haired boy puts an arm around him, small heat-shaped smile on his lips. ‘Whenever you’re ready, hyung.’ 

Yoongi takes a long breath in and exhales an even longer one out then nods, grateful. He feels better already knowing the younger is willing to listen. It’s a good thing because he might explode from the tension and the emotions he holds inside at some point in the near future. 

Jimin comes back at this point and sits across from the two, smiling a little. He’s managed to get hold of a bag of snacks on his way here, now munching happily. His fingers are coated in oily crumbs, so he licks them absentmindedly after each golden round honey poof. 

‘Want some?’ He offers, reaching out the bag closer to the boys. 

Hoseok denies it quickly while the composer hesitates looking at the bag for a longer second. A strong, honey and cinnamon smell hit his nose and he has this stupid thought that the snack goes so well with Jimin. He would rather watch the younger, than eat himself. 

‘No, thanks, I’m avoiding sweets these days.’ He replies, watching Jimin shrug his shoulders and bring the yellow bag back closer to his chest, shoving his hand inside one again to grab more. 

‘Your loss, hyung, it’s delicious.’ He answers calmly, not paying much attention to the older. 

Perhaps the most annoying thing these days is how Jimin acts completely normally around him as if nothing happened the day before. As if there is no tension between them, as if he’s already  forgotten everything that has happened during the whole last week. Maybe he’s just giving Yoongi what he wanted – everything continuing between them like before but it’s unnerving somehow. He doesn’t know how to deal with it because he, himself is feeling the tension so much, feels a little bit awkward like he’s afraid to look the younger dancer in his eyes for too long. 

He knows it’s stupid. It seems like he has a problem with everything Jimin does lately, no matter if the other is paying more attention to him, or whether it’s the complete opposite or when he’s just the same as always. 

He knows that he’s the real problem, not Jimin. He doesn’t know what he wants and it’s all because of the internal war he’s having all the time between his heart and his head. It’s draining him of all his energy and in result he’s even grumpier than before. 

He tries his best. His best to be normal. However, it’s so difficult when he keeps having to be so close to Jimin during the particular recording. Their eyes meet so often, their hands touch unintentionally and he’s still so annoyed at how naturally the blonde smiles at him, how he seems so at ease every time it happens. 

Like the old times. And somehow, Yoongi hates it even more. 

It doesn’t help that for the rest of the shoot he keeps smelling honey and cinnamon all around him. It’s so sweet, it’s making him dizzy and craving the sugar he’s not supposed to have. 

He blames his low blood sugar on the bizarre thoughts that suddenly come to his head. He’s currently watching Jimin argue passionately with  Jungguk about something trivial and pointless but all Yoongi can do is stare at those perfectly shaped lips, wondering whether they would still taste of that golden snack the boy was having earlier if he kissed them right now.

He should seriously eat something. Or take a nap. Or both.

***

He keeps bumping into Namjoon all afternoon and it continues even far into the late evening. This time, they meet at the coffee machine in the kitchen. Yoongi waits quietly, leaning against the dining table, waiting for the younger to finish making his drink. 

Namjoon glances at him, the only thing heard in the spacious kitchen is the humming sound of the small coffee machine. ‘I feel like I keep seeing you everywhere today, hyung.’ 

So, Yoongi is not the only one to notice it. ‘One of those days, I guess.’ He replies quickly, only realising how little meaning his words carry a second later but the other rapper nods and smiles weakly back at him. ‘Not too late for coffee?’ He asks to break the awkwardness even though he’s sure he’s the only one feeling it. 

‘Well, I’m not planning on going to sleep anytime soon, so...’ 

‘Ah.’ In the stretching silence, he impulsively  decides that he has to confront Namjoon about it now or it will keep pushing at his mind relentlessly. He hates that feeling. ‘Can I talk to you about something, Namjoon-ah?’ He asks and he knows the other understands this particular tone of voice. 

For a long second, the taller boy looks at him a little surprised almost but then he nods quickly again. ‘Should we go to my room?’ He lowers his voice, whether that be on purpose or an entirely subconscious manner. 

‘Please.’ 

They head to the room at the end of the long corridor. When they enter, Namjoon places his cup gently on the bedside table and they both sit heavily on the large bed. The room smells like fabric softener, vanilla-scented candles and dark roast coffee. So very Namjoon. 

‘Is it about Jimin?’ He doesn’t waste time and it strikes Yoongi that it’s so natural, no hesitation in his voice. 

The older boy stares at the wooden floor for a long second gathering his thoughts. ‘I’m going to be honest, I’m mad and disappointed in you. I asked you to keep a secret... and you didn’t even think to tell me. Not before and not even now.’ 

The silence that follows after he finishes his speech, has him growing nervous. The sharp exhale of air through the teeth that he hears from beside himself, has him growing confused too. 

‘What? What are you talking about?!’ He whisper-shouts and Yoongi sits up straighter and finally looks him in the wide, dark eyes. ‘You think I told someone about your feelings for Jimin? Why? Why would I do that when I made a promise to you, haven’t I?’ 

He knows. He knows straight away that he’s telling the truth and he feels stupid and confused. Yoongi rubs at his eyes angrily. ‘Then how? God, I just don’t fucking understand...’ He mumbles under his breath. 

‘Hyung.’ He feels a large warm hand on his shoulder. ‘Tell me what happened, I’m so confused.’ 

‘Then we both are because I have no idea either.’ He takes a long, calming breath. Namjoon is waiting for some explanation so he opens his mouth and starts from the beginning. ‘The next day after Taehyung and Jimin had that fight at dinner, Jimin came to my studio. He punched in the code himself and said he got it from Hobi. He brought coffee and said he was bored.’ Yoongi is looking down at his hands, stumbling on words.

He hears Namjoon take a small sip of his drink then place it back down on the table, this time with a more careless clunk. ‘Huh, that’s unlike him.’ He presents a fact they’re all aware of. ‘And why didn’t he just knock on the door? Why get the code from Hoseok-hyung?’ 

‘That’s what I thought too but then I just let it go. I was swayed by the offer of coffee and I wasn’t really working on anything important that day anyway.’ He recalls the events, trying to remember details. ‘The moment he came in though, he had that expression... you know, the one he has when he knows something and he can’t keep it to himself.’ Yoongi looks to the younger in time to see him nod, deep in thought. ‘Then the way he behaved, how suddenly awkward he was being around me and watching me constantly with this curious, expectant, deep stare. Suddenly, I just knew that he knows.’ 

The words hang heavily between them and he feels Namjoon drilling holes in his head with his eyes but Yoongi is back to staring at the point on the floor where the shiny dark wood meets the beige carpet. 

‘Did he say it himself? Jimin, I mean. Did he say he knows about your feelings towards him?’ Namjoon is speaking faster now, it’s almost hard to understand him. 

Yoongi leans back suddenly, overwhelmed, until his back hits the soft mattress of the bed. He stares at the white ceiling for longer than necessary. ‘No. I was so sure, so I merely asked him for confirmation. I asked if it was you who told him.’ 

Namjoon gasps. ‘And he said it was me?!’ From the awkward corner of his eye where Yoongi glances at Namjoon, he can see the other’s disbelief and shock painted on his strong features. 

‘Well, he didn’t deny it, which at that time seemed to me like a definite confirmation but when I think about it now, knowing what I know now, I’m not so sure of anything anymore. He should have denied it straight away but he just said he was sorry instead.’ Yoongi tries to recall it as best as he can but his memory has so many holes in it, it’s foggy. Suddenly, all he can remember is Jimin’s pale face with tears hiding in the corners of his eyes in that dim studio. ‘Then I started to apologize, thinking he knows the truth anyway. I explained how I started to fall for him during the promotions for “Run”.’ 

Namjoon frowns. ‘Hyung, I’m sure he didn’t know. It’s impossible he knew; I’m the only who knows and I didn’t tell anyone even a word, I swear.’ He places his large palm across his heart. 

‘I know, Namjoon-ah, I know. I believe you, it’s just... I was so sure he knows but even now as I’m telling you the whole story, it occurs to me that I could have been very wrong. What if it was all in my head? What if he really just came to hang out? Or what if there was something on his mind but it had nothing to do with me at all?’ It all comes out in nearly one breath. 

Yoongi’s heart begins to race faster and his mind is swimming with  possibilities he hasn’t even considered before.

‘You remember right? After the fight at dinner, Jin- hyung went to speak to Jimin. Later, he told me that they had a long heartfelt conversation and Jimin realised how his behaviour impacts everyone else and he apologised, promising he will stop talking about Vernon. That’s what Jin- hyung told me that evening.’ 

Now it’s all becoming clearer. 

‘I’m the one who told him my own secret. I confessed thinking he already knows all about it anyway.’ He runs both his hands through his dark hair, frustrated. ‘He came to me with something else; he came looking for advice or comfort maybe and I dumped a whole entire love confession on him.’ It seems like the older boy is talking to himself right now, forgetting Namjoon’s entire existence. ‘I’m a fucking idiot.’ 

There is movement on the bed. The younger rapper sits cross-legged next to the mess that Yoongi is currently being on his king-sized bed. ‘No, you’re not. You didn’t know, you just went with your feeling, like any normal human being would in your situation.’ 

He sits back up slowly and lets himself be consoled with the other’s soothing words for a minute. 

‘Hyung? Can I at least know what was Jimin’s reaction? When you confessed?’ Namjoon sounds timid when asking the questions, shy almost. 

There is clear curiosity in his eyes, sparks of excitement too. The shorter boy sighs heavily. ‘Since I’ve started, I might as well tell you everything.’ 

And that’s what he does. 

** Jimin **

He decides to focus on work. 

There has been too much going on in his life, in his mind lately and none of those things seem to lead him into the right direction. He’s been craving love and he’s focused all his energy on idolising someone who he barely knows at all, someone who is not destined to be a part of his life. Then he learned a secret that made him feel things he’s never felt before but that too seems too rush. While dealing with it, he hasn’t thought enough about the other person. 

He was too selfish; grabbing blindly at an illusion of something that he thought he’s been waiting for all this time before even stopping to think of his own true feelings and Yoongi’s side of it all. 

Jimin likes beautiful things. Love, the mere concept of it is beautiful and he wanted to chase it immediately before it disappears from within his grasp. Maybe he only likes the thought of being in love, of being in a relationship but not the reality of it... He doesn’t really know. 

All the blonde dancer is sure of is that there must be a reason that that particular afternoon his legs carried him to Yoongi’s studio, that there must be a reason that the elder boy’s confession made him go through a roller-coaster of emotions but none of them were particularly negative, that there must be a reason he’s suddenly wanted to be even closer with the other boy rather than distance himself. 

Instead of pondering uselessly, he decides to focus on something more productive. That’s how he finds himself with the two youngest members in a recording studio, trying to polish off their latest ballad they’ve been working on. But something’s always wrong, something doesn’t feel right and Jimin is strangely too distracted and too tired to think of what could be done to change it. It’s annoying to say the least. 

‘Maybe we should just leave it for today. We’ve been here for hours and barely fixed anything.’  Jungguk suggest, blinking tiredly and leaning down to kiss Taehyung’s temple, closing his eyes briefly, the touch of his lips lingering there. 

Taehyung looks at the youngest lovingly. ‘You think so?’  Jungguk nods slowly. ‘Jimin- hyung ? What do you think?’

He opens his mouth to protest. Despite the creative block, he fears that if he goes back to doing nothing, he’ll start thinking about Yoongi again. ‘I...’ The loud sound of a new incoming  message interrupts him. He looks at the screen and finds the composer’s name there. Well... he tried. ‘Fine, let’s leave it.’ He agrees finally, his voice lack energy. 

Looking down at his phone again, this time he opens the message. It’s short like always but the content surprises him. It just says “please see me in my studio right now if you can”. 

‘I’ve got to go. I’ll see you guys later.’ He says quickly before leaving the two alone. 

***

Jimin raises his hand to punch in the code before hesitating. Instead, he squeezes his hand into a fist and knocks carefully. After few seconds the door opens slowly revealing Yoongi in his casual clothes standing there. 

‘Did you forget the code?’ He asks and Jimin swallows nervously, staring at him for an elongated moment. 

‘No.’ He replies quietly. ‘I just thought you might have changed it by now.’ It’s a lie. He just wasn’t sure if he’s allowed to do that anymore and if it wasn’t the wrong thing to  do the first and second time around either. 

‘I probably won’t ever get around to doing it.’ They’re still standing awkwardly in the doorway. It’s a new dynamic Jimin feels really unfamiliar with, very unlike their usual behaviour. It almost feels like they stepped back a few years in time. 

‘Will you invite me in,  hyung ?’ Jimin prompts and the other wakes from what seems like a daze. 

Yoongi opens the door further immediately and stands to the side, allowing the younger to walk in. They naturally take their positions, Yoongi in his chair by the desk, Jimin on the edge of the couch. 

After a moment of fidgeting, the older begins carefully. ‘I wanted to apologise to you, Jimin-ah.’ His voice is serious and gloom. He waits patiently for more. ‘After that conversation, after that day... I shouldn’t have acted the way I did towards you. I shouldn’t have expected that everything will be just the same between us, as if that whole thing didn’t take place at all. It’s too big of a thing and no matter how much I wanted things to stay exactly the same, I shouldn’t expect you to act like nothing happened right away... I was seeing things only from my perspective and for that I’m sorry.’ Their eyes meet for a brief moment before the older boy shifts them back to looking at the ground again. ‘Does that make any sense?’ 

Jimin breathes a long breath. He didn’t know what he would hear from his  hyung coming here; he didn’t want to even imagine. He feared the worst.

‘It does make perfect sense, I think.’ He leans forward, trying to make Yoongi look at him but the other is too stubborn. ‘Hyung, I know you. I know you so well, so I understand your actions.’ He notices Yoongi nod at that. ‘I was just hoping you’ll be a bit more open this time around because... because it also involves me and you know how sensitive, how attentive I am when it comes to things that concern me. And this concerns me as much as it does you.’ He concludes softly.

The blonde watches the composer lean back in his chair; it makes a horrible noise in the otherwise silent room. They make a strong, confident eye contact and Yoongi seems a little more relaxed now, for what the younger is glad. 

‘I just... I don’t want you to feel like you need to do anything differently now that you know about my feelings for you. I know you don’t feel the same and I think it’s the best solution to try and be normal with each other. I don’t want you to think that you have to speak differently or behave differently towards me now. That’s all.’ 

Jimin smiles a little then, feeling something new but not unwelcome in his chest. The thing inside makes it suddenly a little more difficult to speak. ‘You keep saying that I don’t feel the same about you, that I don’t reciprocate your feelings but... how do you know that? Have I ever told you that?’ His voice is a bit shaky and the way Yoongi looks at him with slightly wider eyes is making him even more nervous. 

‘What are you saying, Jimin-ah?’ His voice too seems a little choked up. 

He runs a troubled hand through his hair. ‘I’m just saying... I don’t even know how I feel myself, so how can you know? It’s so new to me, I haven’t even had the time to think it all through properly myself but it seems like you’ve already made all the decisions for me.’ 

They needed this talk. It feels like all the thoughts and emotions Jimin’s been holding inside himself for days now are now finally taking proper shape in his head and in turn, in the words that come out of his mouth. 

Yoongi shakes his head at that decisively. ‘No, what you think you’re feeling is influenced by what has happened, by what I told you.’ Jimin laughs inwardly at that. Typical Yoongi. ‘Tell me honestly, have you ever felt anything more than platonic for me before that day?’ 

Jimin shakes his head at that honestly. ‘No.’ Yoongi looks satisfied with that answer but the younger boy continues calmly. ‘But I have to tell you something that might surprise you,  hyung .’ The composer gives him a curious look, waiting. ‘It’s not Namjoon who told me your secret like you think. In fact, nobody told me. That day when I had a fight with Taehyung, Jin- hyung spoke with me later as you know. He  suggested that the comfort I’m looking for might be closer than I think, that I shouldn’t look for it all the way at  Pledis .’ 

Yoongi watches him with furrowed brows but he doesn’t seem shocked. Despite being a little confused, Jimin decides to continue. ‘I had this bizarre thought crossing my mind that maybe it’s someone in our group that could give me that comfort, someone who sees me like  Jungguk sees Tae and how Tae sees Jungguk. I thought it might not be impossible and... the first person that I saw in my head so clearly was you, hyung.’ 

Jimin doesn’t even register when he stands up and moves closer towards his bandmate. He leans against the hard edge of the wooden desk, looking down, hoping something will get through to the other boy. However, Yoongi seems lost in his thoughts and sitting there unmoving, which is not the reaction the  dancer expected after telling the whole, long story.

‘But you don’t seem surprised by what I’ve just revealed? That Namjoon- hyung wasn’t the one who told me?’ 

Finally, Yoongi looks up at him and holds the gaze for a bit longer, making Jimin’s heart shake. The reality and seriousness of their conversation hits him suddenly. 

‘I know he wasn’t; I spoke to Namjoon yesterday.’ The older replies and now  it makes more sense. 

Jimin folds his arms on his chest and leans down slightly, anger seeping into his voice. ‘So, even knowing that...’ 

Yoongi interrupts him quickly. He stands up too; they’re in close proximity, staring each other into their eyes. ‘Jimin, I didn’t know the whole story then and maybe it changes things a little bit but above all, I still stand by my point. I think it’s all coincidental and just influenced by my confession. They’re not your genuine feelings.’ He places his hands on Jimin’s shoulders and takes another long breath. ‘Trust me, I’m doing what’s best for us both.’ 

He can’t believe what he’s hearing. ‘You still stand by it? You honestly do?’ He tries to see beneath the outer layer, beneath the cool exterior because he can’t believe Yoongi’s words are coming from his heart. They can’t be. He tilts his head to the side slightly and whispers. ‘Or are you just scared that I really feel something for you too and that it’ll be too big of a change for you to handle?’ He challenges. 

There are tears forming in the older boy’s eyes now and he knows. He knows he’s hit the nerve. The warm hands on his shoulders suddenly close into fists, grabbing handfuls of his black t-shirt and he wants to give the other a hug, tell him that it’ll be fine but he just stands there, frozen, arms hanging uselessly by his sides. 

‘Jimin, we’re not... you’re not...’ Yoongi ties again but stops himself, emotions chopping up his sentences into pieces. 

The blonde boy moves even closer. He puts his arms around the elder as much as he can reach without coming too close, still leaving enough space between them. With the touch he hopes he could take away all the pressure from him. Through the touch, he wants to let him know that Yoongi doesn’t have to always try to carry the whole world on his shoulders, that he can let go. 

‘Can you please, stop deciding how I feel for me? I didn’t try to diminish or ridicule your feelings,  hyung . Please, don’t do that to mine.’ 

Something is breaking within the older boy, something’s opening. Perhaps a door to Yoongi’s heart. Something is getting through to him. So, he goes with it; with a heart beating nervously in his chest, for a moment he too, cannot believe he’s really asking someone that.

‘Will you let me continue falling in love with you in peace or are going to keep trying to stop me?’ It’s the lowest of whispers. The room now feels darker around them somehow; the shine in Yoongi’s eyes is the only beacon that seems to guide him to safety, to familiarity on this open sea of uncertainty. 

‘Continue? Jimin, please. You’re forgetting who we are, what we’re supposed to represent, how many pressures rest on our team. The cameras, fans...’ He still fights. God, he’s so stubborn that Jimin wants to laugh and shake him and kiss him and...

He smiles lightly instead, not breaking eye contact. ‘Hyung, you’re the one forgetting it was you who pushed Taehyung and  Jungguk together, you’re forgetting it was you who told them that it’s okay and that they have all of us to protect them. Do you think they won’t do the same for us? The two and the rest of the team alike?’ 

He can see it on the composer’s face. With the heavy breath that leaves his pale lips, with the drop of his shoulders, with the way his hands release Jimin’s soft cotton t-shirt, with the small but genuine smile that appears on his face. He knows he’s made his way through the thick icy wall, the heavy defence of Yoongi’s mind. 

Yoongi’s ran out of arguments. So, Jimin, in his typical fashion, pulls the older boy into his arms completely, into a tight hug, with a big, cute smile on his face, his eyes closing. He feels Yoongi hug him equally tight in return and he feels at home. 

A lonely boat lost at sea, finally finds its way to the shore. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey loves!  
> Last chapter. It's finally done.  
> Thank you to everyone   
> who took their time to read it,   
> leave kudos and comments!  
> See you again later, when I   
> bring you new fics.   
> I will now return to writing  
> my GOT7 Jinyoung/Yugyeom fic  
> as I promised to some people :)
> 
> Take care everyone! XXX

** Yoongi **

They decided to let it happen naturally, on its own. They decided not to rush into anything and Yoongi thinks is the best way to go about this considering the recent events. 

He feels strangely free and at ease whenever he’s around the whole group and even when he’s alone with Jimin. The younger is not giving him any long looks, doesn’t insinuate anything like one might in his place, which is relieving. Instead, he offers to make food and drinks for Yoongi like the old times and laughs at his terrible jokes, filling the space with his infectious, pearly laughter just like he used to before. 

At times, it feels like nothing at all has changed between them. But other times, the composer can’t help but feel a surge of protective, alarmed emotions run through him when Jimin hurts himself accidently or falls during dance practice; or the opposite, he can’t help but smile like an idiot when Jimin can’t stop laughing at something someone said. 

This is just what comes along with the package of being in love with someone, he guesses. He begins to learn to accept the fact that he doesn’t have to be so serious all the time, that he can let go and laugh or cry if he feels like it. He doesn’t want to have to hide from the whole world.

However, something he’s noticed very quickly is that they’ve become so much closer after that last time in his studio. More random touches, more conversations, more jokes, more offers to help with both serious jobs and with completely meaningless tasks. 

This is one of those times. 

‘I’m totally okay to finish this on my own, Jimin-ah.’ He folds the freshly washed and dried clothes, putting them neatly into piles for each member. 

They’ve divided the tasks today and the younger was assigned to vacuum the whole house but he’s already finished his own task quite quickly, so now he’s being Yoongi’s adorable shadow. 

‘It’s not like I have anything better to do anyway...’ The blonde just states and sits down, opposite the older boy on the floor and begins to fold a white t-shirt neatly, focusing all his attention on the task. 

Yoongi’s fingers stop for a second, holding two different socks in each hand, wondering why he feels so content right now. In their small laundry room, painted in a cool grey, he realises how domestic this is. He can’t help but wonder if his future with Jimin will look like this one day when they’re older, when they get a house of their own perhaps one day...

Only the low hum of the washing machine, at work with another bundle of their clothes can be heard from the opposite corner of the room as they work quietly, easy air between them.

‘Do you think raising three dogs might be too many?’ He hears himself ask a random question. 

Jimin lifts his eyes up from the task to the older boy, a little taken aback. ‘You want to have three dogs, hyung?’ He asks softly, no judgment in his voice, just pure curiosity. 

‘Yeah... one day, in the future, I mean.’ 

He looks up in time to see the blonde dancer smile at him. ‘That sounds lovely. Might be hard at times but will definitely be worth it. Dogs are so precious.’

He nods, going back to his work, satisfied with that answer. 

‘Would you like to live close to the sea?’ Jimin asks.

Yoongi doesn’t hesitate to answer. A fleeting memory of that time when the boy next to him told him that his favourite colour is dark blue like the sea in Busan flashes in his mind. ‘I would love to. I feel like my brain switches off whenever I’m near water.’ He takes a moment to imagine the scene, far into future. ‘I could go fishing and swimming whenever I wanted to.’ 

They talk about their hopes and wishes for the future like that, mindlessly fantasising until the composer reaches his hand into the big black laundry basket, only to find it empty. 

‘Wow, we’ve finished already?’ His surprise is evident in his voice. 

The other giggles. ‘As expected, it’s quicker and more fun when you have someone to help you out.’ Jimin says standing up and stretching his stiff legs. 

Yoongi agrees. ‘Thank you, Jimin.’ He whispers quietly, looking down at the high stacks of clothes, socks and underwear all around them. They leave the room together closing the door, deciding to come back to continue later when the drying machine is done with the second batch.

Walking the long corridor to the living room, Yoongi suddenly realises that while they talked about the future, about that house by the sea with the three cute dogs, Jimin was always there. In his fantasies, in his plans, in his hopes. Naturally, without any deliberate intention, he just imagined him there. In the kitchen, eating breakfast together, in the living room, falling asleep in front of the TV, by the sea, filming Yoongi catching his first fish with a huge smile on his face. 

He was always there. 

***

‘Where’s Jimin?’ 

Hoseok gives him a long look, looking up from his phone. ‘You ask that quite often these days,  hyung .’ There is an undertone to his voice that’s a little curious, a little suggestive too. ‘He’s in the dance studio.’ He answers finally when Yoongi says nothing and looks away from the younger’s eyes but the small smile still plays at Hoseok’s lips as he replies. 

‘Thanks.’ He mumbles, moving quickly to walk out of the room, avoiding looking at the younger’s face, however, he manages to catch Namjoon’s eyes on him on his way out, sitting in the corner with a book in his hands. If he could describe the expression, it would be a cross between curiosity and hopefulness.

He should have expected that at some point they would notice he’s been spending a lot of time with the blonde boy lately. He just doesn’t want talk about it to anyone right now, not even Namjoon. He needs to figure it out by himself; get used to the fact that his infatuation with Jimin is no longer one-sided. Realise that the other, much like himself is giving him occasional glances that are more than just platonic. 

It’s easier to love from afar; in his mind he’s put Jimin on a pedestal, completely unashamed that he’s probably exaggerating everything beginning with the younger’s beauty all through to his talents. He knew it was his feelings making him do that and it was all fine, when he was alone in that love. Now, it’s hard and a little frightening too, to know that the object of his feelings is involved and even more so when he claims to be falling in love with Yoongi too. 

It’s new and scary but his legs carry him to the dance studio regardless. He never thought he would ever become like this; a moth to a flame. 

It’s those little things because it’s not as if that whole new situation has made him a completely different person but those details make a big difference still. The way he wants to be warmer, more open to Jimin, unlike to anyone else in the world. He likes that there is someone like that in his life, the only one that has such influence on him without even being aware of it at all.

Yoongi sneaks in into the big studio quietly but the loud music and being so absorbed in practice, the other doesn’t notice him anyway. He sits to the side on the floor with his back pressing to the wall and watches the performance taking place in front of his eyes. 

After one of the many spins in this particular choreography, Jimin finally notices him and immediately startles. He stops and looks at Yoongi with wide questioning eyes while the music keeps playing for a moment longer. He runs to the side to switch it off before joining the older on the floor. 

His breath is short and voice coarse when he asks. ‘What are doing here, hyung?’ 

The composer avoids the younger’s gaze. ‘Am I not allowed to come to practice? I’m an idol too, you know.’ He hates the answer as soon as it leaves his mouth. 

Jimin giggles, not buying it at all. ‘You never come here unless you have to. We both know that.’ 

Yoongi sighs heavily, finally shifting his gaze from the shiny floor to the other boy. There is amusement and curiosity in his eyes. ‘Fine, I was bored.’ He’s still avoiding the truth like fire. Why is it so hard to just tell him? Tell him that he’s the reason? 

‘Ah, I see.’ He states flatly. Yoongi watches the sheen of sweat on his face and the strands of honey blonde hair that stuck to his forehead. Jimin looks away from the older and rests his back and head against the wall tiredly. ‘You know, I always dance so much better when nobody is watching me... It’s infuriating.’ 

Yoongi disagrees. ‘Not true. You always try your best, practice or performance or concert, so as long as you do that, you always dance your best.’ The compliment slips from his lips easily; he’s given Jimin a lot of compliments over the years and this is no different. 

So why does his heart suddenly begin to pound like crazy? 

‘Thanks.’ He hears. It’s a little quiet and shy. ‘I should carry on.’ He adds after a moment. 

Yoongi watches the blonde boy get up from the floor. ‘Pretend I’m not here.’

Jimin only smiles at that. Just as he’s about to walk away, he looks behind his shoulder at the older boy. ‘But you are.’ 

Yoongi is glad that the music plays again few seconds later and Jimin focuses on the dance again. He’s so glad because he feels so hot all over; it feels like burning. The paralyzing realisation that he’s falling, falling in so deep and it must be love. It has to be. Nothing else could burn this good. 

He’s watching the beautiful boy dance. The way he moves, the way he stares at himself in the mirror like he’s scrutinising his own every move. Yoongi knows that this is exactly what he’s doing and he just wants to come up there, hold him tight and tell him he’s the best in the world, that there is nobody else like him. Tell him not to be so harsh to himself because he’s absolutely perfect but he stays still, sitting on the floor because Yoongi is better at saying things in his head, at imagining how he might say those words... and that’s where most of it ends. All those grand speeches that won’t ever leave his mind and make it to his lips.

He wants so desperately to be more vocal. For him, because Jimin appreciates words as much as actions, because he smiles so sweetly when he receives compliments. 

Lost in his thoughts, he barely registers when the music stops and instead of playing again from the beginning, a new, slow song plays while Jimin lies down on the floor breathless. 

‘I think I’m done for today.’ He runs his hand through the light-coloured, damp hair and Yoongi decides that courage won’t just come to him from nowhere. For everything in life, one needs to fight. 

He gets up quickly before he loses it again and before the beautiful song ends, he stands over the younger boy with his outstretched hand while the other looks expectantly at him. ‘Slow dance with me?’ Yoongi hears himself ask.

He doesn’t have to wait long. Despite the clear tiredness in Jimin’s eyes, some light that’s full of energy blooms suddenly there, dimming down the exhaustion and he laughs happily again, accepting the composer’s hand, getting up from the floor. 

They’re a bit awkward at first, unsure where to place their hands, both laughing at themselves and the slight absurdity of the situation. From afar, someone watching them would think they’re both dancing for the first time in their lives. The truth is, they might have been dancing for nearly ten years now but dancing while falling in love at the same time... This is definitely the very first for them. 

In the end, Jimin places his arms around Yoongi’s neck, standing close, their chests almost touching and the older places his hands at Jimin’s soft waist tentatively. The slightly shorter boy is still smiling and giggling softly every now and then as they sway awkwardly to the tune. 

A sudden thought crosses the rapper’s mind. Despite all those times they’ve spent together, all that they know about each other, there are still so many “firsts” before them, so many things they could experience together, so many laughs to share, words to hear from each other. 

Speaking of words. ‘You dancing just now, it was the most stunning I saw from you yet.’ He tells him honestly. The pink that dusts Jimin’s cheeks, it looks so much more charming from this close.

How is he getting more and more attractive every time Yoongi sees him? Is it all just in his mind?

‘You leave me no choice,  hyung .’ Jimin whispers into the hot air between them before leaning in slowly.

It’s a short, chaste kiss. Yoongi barely has the time to flutter his eyes closed before it’s all over and Jimin pulls back but the touch leaves his mouth feeling all tingly, all new. Changed forever. He stands there staring at the full, pretty lips that were just on his; he wants to chase them again desperately but Jimin’s expression of worry and nervousness stops him. 

Yoongi smiles at him softly. ‘I wish that’ll always be your choice.’ He whispers and watches the dancer’s pupils dilate and the corners of his mouth rise up. 

They stare into each other’s eyes in the now silent dance studio, starting something new and Yoongi feels his whole body come alive like never before. 

Love, huh? 

He pulls the shorter boy closer. 

Love, huh. 

***

He bumps into Namjoon in the corridor that evening. 

‘What’s that smile on your face, hyung?’ The leader asks brightly. 

Only then, looking in the warm chocolate-coloured eyes of the younger, he realises he’s been smiling like fool all that time since he returned from the dance studio. 

‘No, nothing.’ He tries to compose himself, drawing his lips into a thin line to stop that damn smile and look like his old self again. Namjoon only nods, a little disappointed with that answer perhaps.

But then Yoongi realises that he’s not his old self anymore. Too much has changed, he’s changed and he shouldn’t pretend like he hasn’t. Not to Namjoon and not to anyone. 

‘Jimin kissed me.’ He almost whispers but the joy and excitement cannot be hidden from his voice. He watches the surprise paint itself on the younger’s features. 

He opens his mouth to reply but closes it again quickly. ‘So, a lot has happened the since last time we talked?’ He asks finally and it’s clear he knew something was up but wasn’t sure what. The thing is, he could brag how right he was that time when he told Yoongi that Jimin might return his feelings. That time when the rapper was being so stubborn, denying every suggestion with that strange passion, as if he didn’t want to even entertain the idea of ever being happy. But Namjoon isn’t doing any of that. Maybe that’s what he likes most about their leader. 

Yoongi nods and looks down to the floor, shy. 

‘How was it?’ The younger boy’s tone is warm, so warm. It reminds him of that time he spoke to Jungkook and Taehyung when the couple just came out to them all, in that small living room with walls painted in cream. That tone of voice makes him feel safe and accepted somehow. 

‘Surreal.’ He breathes and laughs inwardly, his hand going to his lips automatically, as if searching for that feeling he’s already missing. 

Namjoon places his large hand on his shoulder. ‘I’m glad, hyung.’ He reassures him and the rapper breathes again, his lungs feel so light. ‘Whenever you and Jimin are ready, we’re here. I’m sure the other guys’ reactions will be the same as mine. In fact, I think Hoseok already suspects something.’ 

Yoongi chuckles. ‘Of course, he knows. It’s Hoseok.’ He looks down to the floor again to hide his nervousness.

He knows they will support them. Ninety-nine, point nine percent he’s sure but still, that zero, point one stares at him right in the face and maybe he’s just an anxious individual but it refuses to leave him alone. As if sensing his discomfort, Namjoon’s hand on his shoulder tightens suddenly and before he knows it, he’s being pulled into a huge hug that swallows him whole, swallows all those silly doubts.

He exhales, long and slow. ‘If there is one of us that deserves to be so truly fucking happy, after all that they went through, it’s you, hyung. We all know it and deep down, I think you know it too.’ The taller boy tells him. 

He tries not to think anymore because if he does, he might cry. So, he’s just hugging back tight and letting himself be comforted. Somewhere in his mind, like a foggy memory, he sees himself from around eight years ago – anxious, frustrated, stubbornly trying to make it all on his own. A young kid trying to carry the weight of the world on his narrow scrawny shoulders, withdrawn and silent. 

The thing is, he knows he could do it on his own. He would survive. But he’s matured, he’s changed and now he doesn’t want to just survive. He wants to live. There is no need to suffer alone, no need to always pretend to be strong because there are people around him now, ready to share his tears, ready to open their arms and be his strength. 

‘Namjoon-ah, I know it won’t be easy but I want it and I’m ready for it.’ He hears his own voice, a little choked up but honest, muffled by the leader’s soft yellow hoodie. ‘I’m ready to love him for as long as he wants me.’ 

The taller laughs shortly. ‘Maybe by now you’re tired of hearing this from me,  hyung but I’m really proud of you.’ 

He smiles, squeezing his eyes shut to keep the tears locked in there. He thinks he’s proud of himself too. He’s proud of all of them. Every single person. 

It was worth waiting. It was worth trying. It was worth trusting something as feeble as fate. 

** Jimin **

Recently, everything has just been Yoongi, Yoongi, Yoongi. In his line of sight, in his thoughts and even in his dreams at night. 

It’s something so new; a welcome breeze kissing its way up from his fingertips all the way up to his arms, reaching his shoulders then settling with a light pink on his cheeks, barely there but leaving its clear mark. 

‘Something on your mind,  hyung ?’  Jungguk asks, stopping the quiet melody he was playing on his guitar in the corner. The older brings his attention from his phone where he’s been staring at the composer’s latest selfie, back to their maknae. ‘Or maybe... someone?’

Jimin sighs, putting his phone away. ‘How did you know?’ He asks but doesn’t let the other answer. ‘How did you know it was Taehyung? How did you know for sure?’ He stares at the black-haired boy intently. 

In the silence that has fallen onto the room, only the ticking of the big clock on the wall can be heard.  Jungguk closes his lips that were open, all ready to give his hyung answers and thinks again. ‘Ah, I see.’ He nods and smiles a little to himself, putting the guitar away, propping it against the cream-coloured wall. 

‘Do you really?’ Jimin folds his legs on the sofa and hugs his knees. 

The other nods confidently. ‘You see, at times I think I must have known since forever but just never realised it, never sat down and actually thought about it. Other times, I think I had no clue for the longest time because the thought that Tae could ever be more than just my hyung, my best friend and band member felt so heavy in my heart. It felt like it didn’t have the right to ever enter my mind...’ He explains and it may sound vague to someone else but Jimin finds himself resonating so deeply with that. 

‘So, what changed?’ He hears himself ask.

Jungguk looks so mature, so sure of himself, sitting in that corner, the afternoon light pressing to his left cheek softly like God’s warm hand. He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. ‘I realised that without being aware of it I kept trying to impress him. I felt like I was burning under his gaze and yet kept trying to bring his eyes to me constantly.’ He admits and Jimin thinks back to that time in the dance studio yesterday. ‘I noticed that I was so relaxed, so like myself around everyone else but when it came to Tae, I kept trying so hard, even though I knew he likes me the way I am anyway. I was trying to show him all my best sides at all times because for me, he was already up so high, like I’ve put him on a pedestal; in my eyes he was so talented in so many things, so beautiful, so loveable... I wanted to be someone worthy of that love.’ 

Jimin looks up at the younger in surprise.  Jungguk thinking he is not talented enough and not beautiful enough? Thinking he’s not worthy of someone’s love? At first, it confuses the older boy but when he tries to think about it for a moment longer, he suddenly understands. Jimin himself, just a moment ago was staring at Yoongi’s picture on his phone and wondering how someone so strong, smart and attractive can exist in this world. 

We all think we’re not good enough when we finally find them. We keep wanting to better ourselves, to match them on the high pedestal we, ourselves, have put the people we love. They were never there, we put them there. We exaggerate all their best qualities and bury their weaknesses deep into the ground. 

It’s just what we do when we’re in love, isn’t it?

‘Does that answer your question, hyung?’ The younger asks and Jimin nods. He laughs to himself, looking down at his hands, upon the realisation that hits him then. ‘What’s so funny?’ 

He smiles, looking up at the taller boy. The sun is starting to set outside the big window when Jimin decides to confess:

‘Nothing.’ He takes a short nervous breath and lets it out slowly. ‘It’s just... I guess I’m in love, Kook-ah.’ He’s still smiling like an idiot, eyes turning into those famous crescents, watching shock paints itself on the other boy’s face. 

***

His heart flutters when he sees him, his fingers itch to reach out and hold him but he’s not sure if he can. Even when they’re all alone, he tries to act casual, to keep calm. It’s all so new, so fresh. 

They gather in the living room, watching the TV and eating take-out and it’s way quieter than usual and it’s strange. Of course, there is the odd comment about this and that but the tension hangs heavy in the air. Namjoon keeps looking at Yoongi, then occasionally at Jimin too.  Jungguk can’t help stare at them too but still keeping the secret pretty well. Or maybe not that well judging by the sneaky looks from Taehyung that even his superb acting skills can’t fully cover up. Then there is Hoseok who just smiles for no reason every now and then when his and Jimin’s or his and Yoongi’s eyes make contact above all the almost empty take-away boxes on the floor between them. 

‘Nice weather today, isn’t it?’ Namjoon throws in hopelessly when the silence stretches for a tad too long. It stinks of desperation. 

Jimin sighs looking to the floor, his anxiety floating somewhere above his stomach, a small but annoying thing. He discreetly looks at the rapper on his right who seems to be in the same position, picking at his lower lips, playing with the last two noodles on his plate lazily with a single chopstick. 

‘Oh, yeah. It wasn’t too hot and not too cold, warm breeze blowing-’ Taehyung starts with a facial expression worthy of a K-drama actor but he doesn’t get to finish his sentence. 

Yoongi finally places the poor chopstick down with a force, looking up. ‘Stop it guys. It’s ridiculous. I know you all know, so just cut the bullshit and say it.’ He states sitting up straighter. 

Jimin looks at him shyly, surprised by the sudden outburst but also glad because the tension was visibly thickening and that uncomfortable feeling in his stomach was becoming harder to bear. They’re the closest of friends, they shouldn’t pretend in front of each other. Especially, when it’s clear they all already know. 

‘Right. Just...’ Jimin starts but the blush is burning his cheeks and he doesn’t know how to continue. He looks around the table and they all look unsure of what to say. Only  Jin looks startled  and very confused. 

Hoseok clears his throat. ‘Well, I personally think, it’s you two who should cut it out and just confess it so that we can all release the breaths we’re all holding and laugh and congratulate you two like we did for Taehyung and Kook.’ He points with his chopstick to Jimin and Yoongi before digging back into his food.

Jin chokes on his soup and barely manages to cover his mouth before it splatters all over Taehyung’s newest Gucci sweater. ‘What?!’ 

Jimin looks down to find Yoongi’s hand and grabs it quickly with his own before he loses the courage. ‘Hoseok- hyung is right.’ He glances again at the composer, eyes searching for reassurance and when the other nods briefly, he raises their joined hands up in the air for everyone to see. 

Jungguk’s shoulders visibly drop in relief. ‘Finally. Acting in front of you guys is exhausting.’ He exclaims while the rest agrees quickly, the tension finally disappearing slowly. 

Namjoon and Hoseok are smiling while  Jin only now manages to swallow his food and stop coughing. ‘Wait, is this a prank?’ 

‘No. Haven’t you noticed the tension between these two for the last two weeks,  hyung ?’ The dance leader asks like he’s never heard any more absurd question. 

They finally put their hands back down to the floor but they stay tightly locked together. ‘It’s true. We’re together.’ Yoongi states casually then corrects himself quickly. ‘I mean, technically not yet but we might be soon, if Jimin still wants me.’ He glances at the younger. Jimin smiles at that shy, stumbling side of his  hyung . 

‘I want you very much, hyung.’ He says on purpose, his voice low and teasing. He smiles watching the dark-haired boy’s cheeks go pink. 

Namjoon coughs. ‘Aren’t we interrupting something right now? You guys won’t start kissing in front of us right now, are you? You’re aware that the same rules as Tae and Kook will apply to you now, right?’ He asks, his voice teasing. 

‘You two kissed already?’  Jin is still not over his initial shock, eyes wide. 

‘Hyung, why are you so surprised? After all, you were the one who told me to look for love, happiness and comfort that’s different from friendship, closer to home, back then when I had a crush on Vernon.’ Jimin prompts carefully. ‘Didn’t you mean Yoongi-hung?’ 

The oldest boy shakes his head. ‘I had no idea there could be something between you two.’ He explains honestly. ‘I actually thought about one of our back-up dancers, Jongmin. You often talk to him in private, I thought you two liked each other.’ 

Jimin laughs. ‘Jongmin?’ He’s aware of all of their eyes on him, especially the eyes of someone on his right. ‘There is nothing between us. He was just considering going to a proper dance school to get a degree but felt bad for leaving us. I was convincing him that he should go for it and enrol for the course starting in October.’ 

Everyone laughs. 

‘Oh.’  Jin begins to laugh too. ‘Well, I guess I was wrong.’ He avoids everyone’s stares, his ears turning scarlet-red. 

‘Aww, look at Yoongi- hyung's cute jealous expression!’ Taehyung exclaims and the boy in question gives him an icy glare. 

After a moment he states. ‘You better sleep with one eye open tonight.’ He threatens but there is no malice in his voice. 

‘Oh, I don’t think Jimin- hyung will let you leave the bed tonight. He wants you too much.’ He replies but at the end of the second sentence he’s already getting ready to run away when the composer begins to get up to chase after him. 

Soon, a high-pitched scream pierces through the house when Taehyung tries to escape Yoongi, who it turns out, can run way faster they could ever imagine when it comes to love. 

The blonde dancer looks at the corner they just disappeared behind with a cute smile on his plush pink lips. When he turns back to look at the members again, they all mirror his smile. 

‘All jokes aside, I was really surprised just now, I honestly had no clue, but I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, Jimin-ah. I’m very happy for you two.’ 

Jungguk raises his hand, nodding. ‘Me too, hyung. I already told you this earlier today.’ He mumbles around a mouthful of meat. 

‘I wish you two all the best and I promise to protect your secret with all my effort.’ Namjoon adds. 

Hoseok reaches his hand, leaning closer to pat Jimin on his back. ‘It’s beautiful, Jimin-ah.’ He smiles. ‘It really is.’ He thinks for a second. ‘Love - the greatest of all emotions, the mother of all virtues.’ 

When Yoongi and thankfully still alive Taehyung, come back, the plates are all cleared and  Jungguk is choosing a film for them to watch on the TV. Jimin finds his excitement build in his chest when Yoongi naturally sits right by his side on the sofa, their sides pressing to each other, warm and soft. 

Before he knows it, the movie is already half-way through. Looking around, Taehyung and  Jungguk are cuddling close, their bodies look like they’re about to merge into one. Hoseok is already asleep, leaning on Jin, who in turn is whisper-arguing with Namjoon about something in the other corner of the room like the married couple they are. Jimin turns to the boy on his left, the bright blue lights from the TV are flashing against the dark of his eyes. 

He’s beautiful. He’s been beautiful and he will be beautiful. His precious soul will speak for him even when his mouth no longer can. His precious spirit will run, still without a break, only forward even when his legs no longer can. 

Yoongi turns to look at him. ‘Not interested in the movie?’ 

The blonde boy shakes his head. ‘More interested in you.’ He answers quietly, smiling lightly.

The older boy grows shy, looking down. ‘You’ve watched me for years, Jimin-ah. You sure you wouldn’t rather watch this?’ He looks briefly to the screen before he brings his eyes back to the dancer. 

‘I might have watched you for years but I feel like I’m only beginning to really see now, hyung. I thought I know everything. Every pain and every secret but now I realise I actually know nothing.’ He watches Yoongi bite his bottom lip at that. ‘I want to know you... I want to know you like nobody else in this world knows you.’ He dares to say, unsure if the other will know what he means but to his surprise, he finds the older nod slowly. 

‘I will show you everything. I will tell you everything. I’m tired of hiding, so I won’t any longer, not from you but...’ Jimin swallows nervously at the intense stare from the other boy. ‘... I want you to do the same for me.’ 

Jimin breathes out slowly and nods carefully. ‘I will. I promise.’ He whispers softly. ‘No matter how bad it is, I want you to know too. I want to build this relationship on trust.’ 

He watches the smile bloom on the rapper’s face. ‘I’m glad.’ He replies. ‘Me too.’

Jimin moves closer to his side and places the side of his face on Yoongi’s shoulder. It feels as comfortable as ever, maybe now even more so. The arm that sneaks around his shoulders feels like an answer to all his questions. 

He’s found the way; he’s finally heading the path that will take him home. 

*** ***

Jimin is sitting in the empty living room, hours later with a cup of green tea in his hands.

He’s waiting for Yoongi, who had to run to his studio as he forgot  something, they need for their schedule tomorrow. The big TV screen is now black and so is the night outside the window. There are so many thoughts running through his mind, he barely catches any of them. He needs sleep but he’s stubbornly waiting.

He’s starting to worry too, when an hour passes by, when it shouldn’t take more than half an hour for the older boy to make the short trip from their house to the studio and back. He grows anxious, checking his phone every now and then in case there is a missed called or a text. 

There is nothing still and the time keeps passing and his tea is getting colder. 

Finally, just as he was about to call him, the front door opens and after a minute, the boy in question stumbles tiredly into the bright living room, holding the black notebook, he needed to get. 

‘What took you so long, hyung?’ 

The dark-haired boy looks at him surprised. ‘Why aren’t you asleep yet?’ He answers question with a question. 

Jimin puts the mug down on the table and stands up. ‘I was waiting for you.’ He answers quietly, shy and Yoongi smiles. 

He leans on the wall, lets out a small sigh and smiles again. ‘You didn’t have but thank you, nonetheless.’ 

The dancer nods and takes his mug to wash it in the kitchen. He can sense Yoongi follow him there. They stand close, side-by-side as the younger lazily washes the cup while the composer watches, saying nothing. The sound of water in the sink is the only sound filling the space for an elongated second. 

‘Park Jimin, will you be my boyfriend?’ He hears as soon as he closes the tap. The poor white mug almost slips from his wet hands before he places it carefully on the drying rack.

Jimin looks up with eyes wide at the other boy; his heart begins to race. He smiles. ‘Of course, I will. If you still want me,  hyung .’ His cute, teasing smile grows as he repeats what the older said a few hours earlier in front of everyone. 

‘I still do. Very much.’ Yoongi plays the game too, moving closer. 

Soon they have arms around each other, hugging so tight. Happy tears appear under Jimin’s lids and suddenly everything seems so light, so hopeful. 

In this moment, everything is right and good and beautiful. And most beautiful, is the man before him, Jimin thinks, as he looks at Yoongi when they separate from the hug to lock their lips instead in a hot kiss. 


End file.
